The Finest Trick
by G-Town Hoya
Summary: Part 1: A new case requires the team to determine which of the BAU boys is most likely to attract a serial killer. Meanwhile, Emily tries to settle into her new domestic life with her fellow BAU agent partner. Romance and comedy to begin with a touch of crime and a dramatic setup at the end. The ending explains the title. Sequel to The New Agent. Rated T. Emily/OC. Part 1 complete.
1. An Undercover Op

**This is a continuation from The New Agent. It could be probably read on its own but I would recommend reading the preceding story as there are some call-backs. If you read this story without reading The New Agent please know that the Alex mentioned is NOT Alex Blake.**

**This story will sort of feature a case in a roundabout way, but it will mostly focus on setting up the final big case in this series and developing character relationships. **

**Thanks for reading/reviewing and if CBS wants to sue me the jokes on them, I'm a college student so all they'll get from me are empty beer bottles and pizza boxes. **

It was 8am on a Monday morning when Hotch began briefing the team on the newest case they had been assigned. Emily and Alex were sitting across from each other with Alex seated next to Rossi and JJ, looking over the fresh files in front of him. "We have five men found dead in the D.C. area" Hotch began as he presented the case. "Carter Mills aged 33, David Lessner aged 35, Gabriel Manning aged 32, Julian Donovan aged 34, and James Tyler aged 36 were all found dead with gun shot wounds to the chest and abdomen. The bodies were dumped at various D.C. and Virginia parks which made it difficult to tie the murders together. The men also had stab wounds near the genital area that were inflicted post-mortem. All the men were handsome alpha males in their early to mid thirties and were successful in their professional lives. Another connection is that they frequented the same D.C. bar, Existence. The lead investigators are handing the investigation over to us from here. However, Strauss believes that an undercover operation will service this investigation best. We need our inside man to attract the unsub and make sure that she approaches him. To be honest, right now we are at a dead end with no physical evidence and no leads."

"Are we sure about the unsub being a female?" Emily questioned.

"According to some preliminary profile work I started late last night I would say so. D.C. Police have also forwarded M.E. reports that indicate that the victims were bound and shocked with a taser."

"So she needed help restraining them, she probably seduced them" JJ surmised.

"And distracted them" Morgan added.

"Her pattern seems to be an abduction 3 days after she dumps a body. Since the latest body of James Tyler was found last night we need to get to work."

"So then I'm going in" Morgan said seriously as he looked through the case files.

"Actually I was thinking along the lines of Vanderbilt" Hotch answered absent-mindedly as JJ started giggling and Garcia looked shocked.

"I thought it was vital that the unsub was drawn to the undercover agent though?" Morgan said a little too defensively.

"Honestly I don't care, Morgan can do it" Alex spoke up. He did not want to get into an argument over something this idiotic.

"Age wise Vanderbilt is more in line with the unsub's type. That and the fact that he is actually very well versed in undercover work makes me inclined to center this investigation around him" Hotch answered firmly.

"Well in that case Reid should be considered too, he's the right age" Morgan countered.

Emily tried to suppress her laughter as she turned to JJ, "Reid?"

"What if we do a sexy-off?" Garcia suggested as Hotch looked at as if she had three heads. "You know tonight we go to the bar and whoever gets the most phone numbers goes undercover."

"It seems ridiculous but it would give us a chance to do recon in the bar and help it seem more natural that our undercover man would be there. Most of these victims frequented the bar before their death, it could help" Rossi suggested with a shrug.

"Fine" Hotch answered trying to appease Morgan. Why did Morgan care so much anyway? Sometimes it felt like his agents were juveniles.

"So Morgan, Reid, and I are going to be competing for phone numbers as an official FBI assignment?" Alex asked in confusion as he scratched his hair near his left temple, and that's when she saw it. _Fuck! Quit scratching your head your idiot! _Emily was screaming internally when she caught a glimpse of the silver wedding band. She knew that it was only a matter of time before her coworkers caught it too. Alex finally quit scratching his head and instead crossed his hands on the conference table. Emily couldn't take it any longer and kicked him to get his attention. Unfortunately she hit Rossi instead.

"What the fuck?" He muttered as he looked at Emily.

"Sorry leg cramp" she lied as Alex looked up to her and laughed. She quickly pointed at her left ring finger and he finally got the hint. He immediately moved his hand under the table, but the damage was already done. Garcia's face lit up at the realization as she nudged JJ. Hotch was still going on about the case when Alex sighed at his mistake. Emily was going to kill him and she was already cranky enough.

However, Hotch noticed Alex's sigh and quickly called him out on it, thinking it was about the case. "Do you have a problem with that Vanderbilt?" Hotch asked curtly. He was done with dealing with his agents and their "feelings."

"No sir just hoping to clarify" Alex answered with a smile as he looked over to a nervous Reid. Maybe this was going to be fun after all. "Hey Reid what's wrong?" He asked as the rest of the team started to file out of the room.

"I'm not very comfortable trying to pick up women at bars. I don't ever frequent them" he said shyly.

"I'll help you. I think we can work with this" Alex said as he motioned to Reid's hunched over body.

"Okay, thank you Alex. Should I come over to your house at 6 before we go?"

"Sure" Alex said as he tilted his head in confusion. Who went to a bar at 6? He shook his head as he walked back to his desk and sat next to Emily who was working on paperwork. He smiled at her and she gave him a dirty look. She didn't need her friends bothering her on top of everything else that she had to do that day.

"Come with me pretty lady" Garcia commanded as she pulled Emily out of her chair and pushed her towards JJ's office.

"Garcia?"

"No, you don't get to argue, you lost that chance when you got secretly married without consulting us!" Garcia scolded in a whisper.

* * *

3 months Earlier

_Alex rested his head on Emily's stomach as they both tried to catch their breath from their earlier escapades. Alex was the first of the duo to speak up, "That was…"_

_"Awesome" Emily cut him off with a sigh._

_"Yeah, we're good at that" he joked back to her with a flicker of seriousness in his voice. "It was like a lethal combination of makeup sex, I haven't seen you sex, thrown in with a dash of new fiancé sex."_

_Emily started laughing at the description, "Oh what a way with words you have Alexander." Alex turned to look up at Emily and noticed an annoyed look in her eyed, "You threw your rain-soaked clothes on my wood floor, didn't you?"_

_"Two things about that" he said as he inched up closer to her face. He sucked the sensitive skin behind her left ear and mumbled, "number one we live together so this is my floor too." He then moved to her right side to complete the same pattern as before, causing Emily to moan as his hot breath hit her ear, "and number two technically it was you who threw off my clothes in the hallway Miss Prentiss" he remarked in a playful tone as she hit him on the chest._

_"Shut up Vandy" she joked. However, Emily interrupted their playful banter by suddenly getting serious, "By the way, do you want to talk about the name thing?"_

_"Whatever do you mean?" Alex could tell that Emily was concerned about this and to be honest he liked the sound of Emily Prentiss and didn't really want her to change her name. He liked the way it sounded when she answered her phone or when someone else addressed her. Emily Prentiss just had a good ring to it. _

_"Did you expect me to change my name?" Emily asked sternly._

_"Well, I was expecting you to change you name to mine" he replied as he pretended to be serious. He took her hand and started to play with it as he continued, "I thought you would change your name to Edward Alexander Vanderbilt III when we got married, that or just Mrs. Vanderbilt with no first name" he quipped._

_"Can you ever be serious" Emily said in a mock upset tone._

_Alex laughed as he shook his head, "Really I like your last name and I think you should keep it. Do you have any idea how confusing it would be at work?"_

_"I was thinking keep the name at work and hyphenating it for personal use. But do you think Prentiss-Vanderbilt sounds a little pretentious?"_

_"Yeah but who cares" he shrugged. "Hey maybe we should just turn into the skid and add more last names. You could be Emily Prentiss-Vanderbilt-Rockefeller-Rothschild-Kennedy, the Duchess of Windsor" he teased as she began laughing again._

_"You are such a shit" she insulted as she began playing with his hair._

_"But I'm your shit, wait that came out wrong!" he exclaimed much to her amusement._

_"You always say such stupid things!"_

_"You set me up! And you're the one who gets me all flustered. You are such a cruel woman."_

_Emily winked, "I know. Also you need to call Garcia" she reminded poking him on the chest._

_"Call?" Alex questioned as a look of terror came across his face. _

_"Or tell her in person, preferably when I'm not there" Emily suggested, wanting to save her ears from her shrill friend._

_"Maybe we shouldn't tell them. Just let them find out after one of Garcia's routine hacks into our lives."_

_Emily raised her hands up in surrender at her fiancé's terrible idea, "Keep something like this from Penelope Garcia? No thank you I like my credit score as it is."_

_Alex sat up in the bed addressing Emily seriously, well as serious as Alex could get, "Well then we should tell her after we plan the wedding because otherwise she will and you know how that will be. I will be stuck wearing some horrible suit with a top hat and a Mr. Peanut cane and you will end up wearing a huge wedding dress you will hate and she'll probably train a bunch of white doves to fly you down the aisle." Emily started laughing at Alex's description of a Penelope Garcia wedding as he rambled on, "And then she will invite like a thousand people and make us pay for an open bar." He finished much to her amusement._

_"I want so badly to tell you it's not going to be that bad but it is! Oh my god and my mother will probably invite all of her friends…" Emily trailed off as she and Alex started thinking out loud about their upcoming nuptials. _

_"And my father will invite the President…"_

_"We will collectively know like 8 people at our own wedding…"_

_"And we'll have to chitchat with all of those freeloaders!" Alex complained as Emily started cracking up. "And they'll give us a bunch of stuff we don't need and, fuck, I bet Strauss will be there."_

_"Fuck!"_

_"She'll probably buy us some horrific gravy boat and fire us for insubordination when we don't use it" Alex smirked. "Too bad it can't be just us, you know?" Emily shot Alex a smile at his comment. "Why are you giving me the 'you're so stupid' smile?"_

_"Because we should just elope. Go to the courthouse and do it." _

_"Can we do that?"_

_"Of course we can."_

_"Do you want that?"_

_"Alex you know me, do I seem like the type of woman that has dreamed about her wedding?"_

_"No."_

_"I really don't care about that stuff. I don't care about the dress or the cake."_

_"I want cake" Alex flashed a grin._

_"We can still get you cake, dumbass, just without all the other crap we'll hate."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes" Emily said without a doubt in her mind._

_"What will your mother do to me?"_

_"A former CIA black ops agent is afraid of Elizabeth Prentiss?"_

_"Yes" Alex replied as Emily giggled. _

_She paused as she thought about it, "She'll understand, I'll talk to her. What will your father do to me?"_

_"I don't know, just don't meet him."_

_"Alex, I should probably meet your own…"_

_Alex cut her off, "No Emily."_

_"Alexander."_

_"Emily no one wants to meet my father. People think they do until they do and then they're like 'nope shouldn't have met him.'"_

_"He won't be that bad."_

_"He hates people, but you are connected so he may like you."_

_"See" she argued._

_"Or hate you even more before you also wasted your political potential, reminding him of me. Okay so the team, will they be mad?"_

_"Hotch won't care, Rossi will understand why we did it this way, Reid probably still doesn't know we're dating" Alex started laughing as Emily went on. "Morgan will be mad that he didn't get to hit on bridesmaids, but since we both have no friends the bridesmaids would just be Pen and JJ and he hits on them all the time anyway so he won't care that much. I think JJ will understand and Garcia will get over it eventually. Just make sure you do one thing."_

_"What?" Alex asked with his eyes fixed on Emily._

_"Buy everything you may want in the foreseeable future before she finds out and cleans out our accounts" she joked as Alex kissed her._

_"I love you" he mumbled to her._

_"I love you too preppy" she said kissing him back._

**How are Garcia and JJ going to react to the news and what else could our BAU couple be hiding? **


	2. Meeting the Ambassador

"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss or should I say Vanderbilt?" JJ asked with a sly grin. She was happy for her friend but she was going to enjoy torturing her. "You've got some splainin to do."

"I'm so sorry we didn't tell you" Emily said trying to work up a smile.

"We didn't even know you were engaged!" Garcia exclaimed. "And now your married and moneybags out there didn't even buy you a ring, the nerve!"

Emily could tell that Garcia was definitely upset and she had to diffuse the bomb. "Pen I'm so sorry we didn't tell you earlier but we were just waiting to figure out how to tell our parents."

"I thought we were best friends though?" Garcia asked sounding hurt.

"We are" Emily said as she gave her friend a hug. "But Alex can be very private." _Alex can take the heat for this, he owes me. _

"Oh yeah it was all Alex" JJ sarcastically commented as she rolled her eyes.

Emily knew there was only way to get back in friend's good graces. "Well I'm glad you guys know because I need your help. Alex is meeting my mom for the first time today we have to tell her that we got married." JJ and Garcia cringed.

JJ interrupted Emily, "You should have just bit the bullet and done a wedding. You know how your mom is. Your mom is, well, your mom. Umm, my main advice would be, be sure to bring your gun" JJ joked to an unamused Emily.

"Yeah gumdrop, you are not getting any help from me on this after you hide your marriage to our dark prince out there" Garcia answered still fuming with her arms crossed. Emily knew she felt betrayed by the fact that she didn't confide in her.

"Well maybe you could help me figure out how to tell her about the baby then" Emily shrugged as her friends' expressions immediately changed from anger to glee.

"BABY!" Garcia exclaimed as she jumped around the office.

"Oh Emily I am so happy for you" JJ warmly said as she gave her friend a hug.

"JJ I can't believe you were just yelling at a pregnant woman!" Garcia scolded.

"Actually that was you Garcia" Emily replied with a smirk.

"Okay so Who? What? Where? When? Why?! How?!" Garcia rambled off.

Emily chuckled, "Umm who? My baby's father is my husband Alex, you work with him." JJ started laughing at her hysterical friend as well. "And I am not answering the rest of those questions" Emily concluded.

"How far along are you?" JJ asked

"12 weeks, we actually only found out a month ago but didn't want to tell anyone until we were sure it was going to work out…" JJ nodded, she understood that better than anyone. "I actually found out because I had been vomiting and was exhausted all the time and when I finally went to the doctor he told me."

"So is our dark prince excited?"

Emily's face lit up with a smile, "Yes. He's really good about everything, the morning sickness, the crankiness, the exhaustion. And he reads pregnancy books all the time, it's kind of creepy."

"He's just invested" JJ spoke up.

"So do you want a boy or a girl? Any names picked out?" Garcia squealed. This was the best news she had heard in a very long time.

"I don't have a gender preference but Alex wants a girl and he says he has one name in mind which he refuses to tell me. It is a point of contention. If you want you can also help Alex find a new house because now he wants to move since we'll have to give up our office-guest room for a nursery. He said the other day and I quote, 'Unless you want me to knit a serial killer quilt for the baby's room we need to find a bigger house.'"

"That's so something Alex would say" JJ said with a laugh.

"I'm so excited! But he better not cheap out on us, we'll help you my pregnant little dumpling. Have you told our fearless leader yet?"

"2 weeks ago."

"I can't believe Hotch knew before us" Garcia remarked to JJ.

"And Rossi too" Emily teased remembering her BAU father figure congratulating her after confessing that he already had a hunch before Hotch told him.

"Em, how long have you been married?"

"8 weeks."

"Aww" Garcia and JJ commented in unison.

"So where's the ring?" Garcia spoke up. "He better have gotten you one, I know how much money he has!"

"Relax Garcia" Emily advised as she pulled a chain off of her neck that held her engagement ring and platinum eternity band.

JJ gasped as Garcia yelled, "Oh my god I fucking hate you!" Emily laughed at her friend. "What the fuck Em this is so beautiful if I wasn't your friend and you weren't knocked up I'd totally mug you."

"Thanks Garcia."

"Okay details" JJ said without looking up from Emily's ring that she was trying on.

"One knee?"

"Yes."

"Speech."

"Perfect one, he reminded me of a talk we had the first night we met." Garcia looked up at her with a questioning look and a wink, "No, eww Pen not like that kind of talk."

"Where did he buy the ring from?" JJ asked as she reluctantly handed it back to her brunette counterpart.

"He didn't, it was his mother's push present. She gave it to him when she died and said don't ever give it to anyone unless she's perfect for you."

"Push present huh? Sometimes I forget how peasanty I am until I'm around you. But that's really sweet Em, bummer you don't know who made it. Did he have the original box?"

Emily nodded, "Neither of you can get crazy, okay? Cartier."

"WHAT?!" Garcia shouted as she slammed her hands on JJ's desk, causing a stack of files to topple over.

"PEN!" JJ yelled as she looked at the mess.

"Sorry, I just hate gumdrop so much right now. She got the red box, the red and the blue boxes are like a woman's ultimate dreams."

"Who cares Jayje? Your office is always a mess anyway" Emily cracked.

"Not so much of a mess to deter you from defiling it" JJ shot back.

"Are you ever going to let me live that down?" Emily sighed.

"Never."

"Oh my God! Is this where the baby was conceived?" Garcia asked pointing to JJ's desk hopefully.

"Eww gross no" Emily responded with a look of detest on her face. "So tonight come over before the, and I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, the sexy-off because Alex has some plan that involves Reid. Anyway before I head back to work, my mother?"

"Yeah I wasn't just trying to be mean to you, I really got nothing on how to fix THAT situation" Garcia confessed.

"I was serious earlier, bring your gun" JJ joked as she nudged Garcia.

"Well thanks for nothing guys. My flawless giant Cartier ring and I are going back to my desk to work with my hot husband" she huffed as she left the office.

"Fucking Emily" JJ jokingly muttered to Garcia before she left for her lair as they went back to work.

* * *

Alex and Emily walked from the parking lot to the Georgetown restaurant where they were meeting Emily's mother. Alex was comfortable with the location because he used to live in the neighborhood. Emily turned to Alex and for the first time really took notice of his appearance. He was wearing a perfectly cut black pinstripe suit, a white and maroon thin stripped shirt, with a maroon tie spotted with small grey polka dots and a silver tie bar. His normally messy auburn hair was perfectly coiffed, combed back and to the side. She smirked when she remembered Garcia fondly dubbing it "old money hair." The simple fact was that although they shunned the lifestyle, they both had really nice things. All of Alex's clothes were perfectly tailored and classic in his preppy way. "You look nice today preppy" she complimented.

"Thanks sassafras, so do you" he said as he looked at her and smiled.

"Tell me the truth, do you have a tailor fancy pants?"

"Uhh" Alex was embarrassed by Emily's question. He hated to talk about money.

"You do don't you?" Emily teased as she started to giggle.

"No, I don't have a personal tailor, but my suits are custom made if that's what you are asking. And do not think for a second that I didn't see all those bags from Barneys the other day you little hypocrite."

"I'm not the one who has custom shirts made from Brooks Brothers and all my suits commissioned from Ralph Lauren. And yes I checked the labels Edward Vanderbilt III" she teased.

"That's it, we're snobs" Alex admitted in defeat. "Did I ever tell you about the 3 piece suit incident of 1996?"

Emily chuckled Alex's clever name for his story, "No tell me!"

"Don't get so excited, it's not that interesting. So around a week before I was about to graduate from high school I went home to buy a suit because all I had at school were my uniforms. I go to the store and pick out a grey 3 piece suit, they measure me and my dad says he'll have his assistant pick it up for me and bring it to me in New Hampshire. I go back to school thinking how great I'm going to look in my new suit and the day before graduation the suit comes. I open up the garment bag and inside is a navy blue suit and a note attached that says in my father's handwriting, 'only servants wear 3 piece suits.'"

Emily started laughing at the story, "He sounds terrible."

"I told you!" Alex smiled as they walked into the restaurant to find Ambassador Prentiss waiting for them.

"Mother this is Alex" Emily introduced as Alex firmly shook the Ambassador's hand and pulled out the chair for Emily.

"Alex it is a pleasure to meet you" she smiled.

"Likewise Ma'am" he responded, impressing Emily who had forgotten that he too came from a political family.

"Emily does Alexander have a last name?" Ambassador Prentiss asked of her daughter pointedly.

"Oh I'm sorry mother, Alex goes by his middle name."

"I apologize for the confusion ma'am, I'm Edward Vanderbilt."

"I see, I know your father Secretary Vanderbilt."

"Yes ma'am he is definitely well-known" Alex said with a knowing smile to Emily. She smiled when she realized that was probably the only compliment he could come up with.

"How old were you when he first started in Congress? New York, am I correct?"

"Yes ma'am, he was first elected a year and a half before I was born."

Ambassador Prentiss smiled, "I think I may recall. I also remember your grandfather Senator Vanderbilt quite well, outstanding politician. You're maternal grandfather, Charles, served as Attorney General in New York too if I remember?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Additionally, considering that Attorney General Montgomery's father, your great-grandfather, Andrew Montgomery served as Governor of Massachusetts it would be logical for me to ask if you have any political aspirations yourself."

Emily looked over to Alex questioningly, she didn't know all of this about his family. Her mother must have had one of her minions google Alex's entire family history. She smiled when she realized that for once she wasn't the snobby one in the relationship.

"It would be logical to ask but I am not interested in politics. I work with Emily."

Emily smiled to her mother who would frown at Alex's response if she hadn't always hide her emotions so well.

"So mother are you excited for your new posting in Tokyo?" Emily asked as she looked over to Alex whose eyes were pleading with her to change the subject.

"It should be an interesting challenge. Edward…"

Emily cut her off, "Mother he prefers to be called Alex."

"But that's his name isn't it. Edward?"

"Yes it is, it's fine" Alex replied politely as he thought about how this was the longest lunch ever.

Ambassador Prentiss' expression remarkably remained the same when she asked her next question, "Edward, when were you going to inform me that you married my daughter?" Alex choked on his water as the Ambassador went on, "Emily, darling, wherever is your ring?"

Emily took the hint and took the rings off the chain and put them on her left hand.

"Stunning, very well done Edward. Emily, dear, did you change your name?"

"I hyphenated it" Emily was perplexed, was her mother mad or happy?

"Outstanding" Ambassador Prentiss replied as she took a drink of water. Alex was confused, just five minutes ago this woman hated him and now she didn't? "I'm very happy for you that you've finally found a suitable mate."

_There it was_ Emily thought. "Thank you mother. Alex and I wanted to let you know…"

Internally Alex was screaming "no, no, no, it is going so well."

"I'm pregnant."

"Hmmm" Ambassador Prentiss was debating on how to deal with this. The Ambassador refocused her attention on Alex, "Edward what do you think of this secret wedding, did you even have the forethought to consult an attorney and work out a prenuptial agreement?"

"What?" he asked stupefied. He saw a candle and hoped the restaurant would burn down. _Maybe if I just tapped it a little before heading to the bathroom…_

"What did you think of Emily not allowing you to have a wedding? I know she was never interested in the idea..."

Emily interrupted, "Actually it was originally Alex's idea." Alex looked at her in horror. _WHAT THE FUCK EMILY?! _He was screaming inside.

"Is this true Edward?"

"Umm well Ambassador…" he trailed off. _Words, say words_ he yelled at himself.

"I am for one very disappointed in you Edward. I hope you don't use this 'anything goes' attitude when raising my future grandchild."

"I'm sorry" Alex said softly as Emily started to chuckle at how scared her husband was of her mother.

"Emily do you find this amusing?"

"Well…"

"I am very disappointed in both of you. You are not behaving like the children myself and the Secretary have raised you to be." Ambassador Prentiss kept her tone even throughout the entire conversation, a trait that Alex was used to. "What did your father think of this _idea _you had Edward?"

"Here's the thing…"

"Edward" Ambassador said commanding an answer.

"I haven't told him yet?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

Alex sighed, "A statement ma'am." Emily was trying so hard to suppress her laughter at the sight in front of her.

"I see, so neither of you informed your family that you went off and got married. Neither of you decided that we deserved to know and apparently you are now expecting a child."

Alex panicked and pointed at the Ambassador's wrist, "I-I like your watch."

Emily was starting to feel bad for him, "Well mother thank you for lunch, we will keep this conversation in mind. We really have to get back to work. Enjoy your time preparing for your posting" Emily said getting out of her chair. She looked to Alex who was still seated unsure what to do, "Alex."

"Right" he jumped up, "it was very nice to meet you ma'am."

"Likewise Edward" she said with her trademark Ambassador's smile, which Emily knew meant she was pissed.

Alex seemed to recognize it as well and stepped away from the table quickly, dumbly waving back to the Ambassador who took out her phone while she waited for the check. The couple almost ran out of the restaurant and into Alex's Audi. He locked the doors and soon as they were inside.

"What the fuck was that?!" He loudly asked Emily.

"What?"

"It was Alex's idea?"

Emily snickered, "You were such a mess."

"You sacrificed me to the wolves!"

"Last time I checked it was only my mother."

"Fine, one very angry wolf."

Emily defended herself, "Normally she isn't that bad. She was just shocked that we impeded her chance at a big wedding. She'll be happy about the baby later, she'll probably come over with a gift."

"Regardless of whether or not that happens good luck with my father because there is no way I'm helping you out with him now."

"Please, like I'm afraid of you father." Emily waved him off as if it was the most ridiculous threat she had ever heard.

Alex got an evil grin on his face, "Oh yes you are."

"Anyway she liked you."

"No she did not" Alex said firmly as he started driving back to the BAU.

"Well she's not going to be the president of your fan club but she didn't mind you too much."

"Oh what a compliment" Alex sarcastically replied.

"Don't get snarky with me…Edward" Emily giggled. "By the way fancy man you never told me about your family of merry politicians."

"You know about my family, and none of them are what you could call 'merry.'"

"Not really, I didn't know your great-grandfather was Governor."

"I didn't think it mattered. His father was a successful businessman but was considered new money. The family wanted to make itself look better so my great-grandfather married my great-grandmother who was part of the Lowell-Cabot family, they basically got him elected. The only thing remotely interesting about this is the fact that my mother's side of the family were all Harvard graduates and my father's side was all about Yale. Really Emily it's boring to talk about."

"Fine grumpy, but fill me in on your maternal grandmother?"

"Caroline Van Rensselaer."

"Your family is like a history lesson in politics" Emily laughed. "And her parents?"

"Her father was a financier."

"Do her parents have names?" Emily inquired.

"I don't remember, I never met them." Alex replied curtly as he pulled into the BAU parking lot. "I never thought I'd be so happy to get back to serial killers."

* * *

As Emily and Alex walked into the BAU and were met by JJ who was headed over until she noticed Emily mouth and shake her head 'no.' Taking the hint JJ went back to her office as a cranky Alex went into the kitchen to get some coffee. Emily got up to talk to JJ in her office.

JJ squirmed around in her chair as Emily walked in, "So how was it?"

"Goodish."

"Goodish?"

"Okay it was bad."

JJ stared at Emily, "What did you do?"

"Me?"

"Yes you."

"I didn't do anything."

"Emily Prentiss, wait, or is it Vanderbilt now?"

"Prentiss at work, hyphenated for everything else."

"Well, Emily whatever-your name-is don't you dare lie to me" JJ commanded.

"Okay I sacrificed Alex to her" Emily confessed.

"You did what?!"

"I panicked and he was right there" Emily defended as she gestured to the door. "She was mad about there being no wedding and she asked Alex how he felt about me doing that and then…" she drifted off.

"Oh no Emily you didn't, do you want your child to grow up without a father?" JJ choked back a chuckle.

Emily started to ramble, "I did! And then she started calling him Edward and talking about how his father raised him to be better than that and Alex didn't know what to say and complimented her on her watch and I know for a fact she hates that watch!"

"How?"

"Because I gave it to her" Emily said with a laugh.

JJ started laughing, "Poor Alex."

"By the way did you know his great-grandfather was Governor of Massachusetts?"

"Yeah, you would think you would know too since he's your husband."

"His family is a sore subject, which trust me Jayje is the understatement of the year."

"Anyway Garcia made up a family tree for him. I have it around here somewhere if you want it" JJ shrugged. "Back to the issue at hand, Emily you are in big trouble."

"I know."

"You're going to have to fix this."

"How?"

"Remember what you did in my office, that."

Emily looked confused and softly asked JJ, "I thought you were mad that we did it in your office?"

JJ huffed, "I didn't mean for you to do it here. You know what, get out before you get any ideas. I know how pregnancy hormones work. And stay away from the parking lot" she commanded as she got up and lightly pushed Emily out the door.

* * *

Emily got back to the bullpen and leaned over Alex to whisper in his ear. "Please forgive me and put your ring on."

Alex took his wedding band out of his suit jacket pocket and put it on his hand, "I still hate you" he replied.

"Then we're really married" she smirked as he started laughing. That's when she knew she was forgiven.

Reid looked up from the board game he was creating, which looked to be a combination of Star Trek and Dungeons and Dragons and noticed the rings. "Are you two married?"

"Yes" Emily replied.

"Congratulations" he said sweetly as he went to work.

Alex and Emily smiled at each other until she noticed that Alex was about to ask Reid what he was doing and quickly warned, "Please don't." Alex smiled and went back to working on examining the local detectives' case notes.

Morgan walked back to his desk and noticed Emily's rings, "Did you guys married?" his tone substantially louder than Reid's.

"Yeah Morgan I'm sorry we didn't tell you but we had to keep it quiet because of Strauss" she confessed. To be honest that was the main reason they kept it from the team, they needed more time for everything with their section chief to blow over.

Morgan sighed, "It's okay I get it. How long?"

"Just two months" she said hoping he was really okay with it.

Morgan smiled, "I'm really happy for you and for me because now that ring is going to help me win tonight" he said proudly pointing to Alex's wedding band.

"Whatever Morgan" Alex commented without looking up from the case files. He needed to concentrate because unlike everyone else he was not an experienced profiler. Infiltration and target neutralization was what he specialized in. Emily knew that and wondered if Alex would have stayed in the BAU if he hadn't met her. He had finally made peace with the mistakes he made while in the CIA and she knew that a part of him was unsatisfied with his job. Unfortunately for her, Emily's thoughts we interrupted by Morgan's stupidity. "Hey Reid where are you doing?"

"NO!" Alex and Emily yelled to each other as Reid went on to explain over the next 20 minutes all the codes of honor from Star Trek that he was adding to the game of Dungeons and Dragons, much to the chagrin of the other three profilers.

"I fucking hate you so much Morgan" Alex mumbled as Emily started laughing.

**What is Alex's plan with Reid and who will win the contest? **

**What are your predictions? **


	3. Ebenezer Von Trout IV

**Just to answer a few questions, this is still set in the season 7 time period which is why Alex and Emily were so concerned that the team would be upset with them for keeping a ****secret from them. It's partly why Garcia was briefly upset with Emily for not trusting her.  
**

**Also in regard to Alex's hair I should have been more specific. His hair is like an auburn-brown not really a red, more like brown hair with a reddish/copper tint. Think more along the lines of JFK hair and not Prince Harry. **

**Thank you again for reading/reviewing and even if it may seem slow at first we ARE building up to something. **

Alex and Emily crashed into their apartment with Emily pinning Alex against the door after closing it behind her.

"Fuck Em" he utter as she started untying his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Baby I've wanted you since we were walking to lunch" she mumbled as she started kissing his neck and collarbone.

"Too bad JJ's so stingy with her office" he cracked as he started working on her shirt revealing the red lace bra he loved so much. He pulled her closer to unclasp the bra.

"Oh yeah they're coming in like an hour so we need to make this quick" she uttered between kisses.

"Em you're going to have to remind me later because I can't focus when you're doing that" he said as he started breathing heavily while she started working on his belt buckle.

Alex starting kissing Emily's neck while his hands trailed down to her pants as she moaned, "stop talking."

Half an hour later they were lying on the foyer floor as Alex started laughing.

"What?" Emily asked.

"You're insane" he remarked as he started running his hands up and down her arm. "I love pregnancy hormones."

"So are you still mad about lunch?" She inquired with a knowing smile.

"No" he chuckled, "I'm going to send your mother a 'thank you' card" he joked as she hit him on the chest. Alex helped her get off the floor and Emily laughed when she saw his shoulder. Alex looked down and smiled, "Sassafras you have got to quit biting me so much, it's going to leave a scar."

"Yeah, but then everyone will know you're mine" she winked as she went to shower and he just shook his head. He put a lasagna from Rossi in the oven for dinner and walked to the living room to watch TV. Emily got out of the shower and decided to wear a pair of dark jeans, a caramel cable knit sweater, a forest green corduroy jacket, and a pair of brown leather ankle boots. She wondered when she would have to start buying maternity clothes and sighed when she looked at her already crowded closet. Maybe Alex was right about a new house. She walked out of their bedroom into the living room to find Alex sitting on the sofa drinking a beer in nothing but his red patterned dress socks with grey sharks on them and white boxer briefs.

"Unless you want Garcia to see you like that you should go upstairs and get dressed."

"This is how I'm going to win the contest tonight" he replied with a grin.

"Shut up" she smiled as she sat down next to him.

"Okay I'll get going, I put dinner in and it should be ready in like 35 minutes. Do not drink that beer" he ordered softly.

"Oh but you can?" She challenged.

"I have to get a buzz on to be able to flirt with a bunch of inferior women" he bantered back.

"Quit trying to be charming and make sure to take off your ring Casanova" she laughed as he headed down the hall.

* * *

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and Emily opened it to find JJ holding a salad, "I brought salad."

"Thanks come in." Emily said as she waved her in and invited her to sit on the sofa with her.

"Emily were you drinking beer?" JJ asked horrified.

"No JJ it's Alex's and actually can you throw it out? The smell…" she trailed off.

"Yeah sure. So did the bold and the broodiful make up?"

"What?" Emily asked as she looked up from watching a recorded episode of Game of Thrones.

"You are such a geek" JJ teased as she noticed the show.

"Shut up."

"According to Pen, you and Alex are the bold and the broodiful. So where is your handsome husband? Is he still mad?"

"I doubt it and he's showering."

JJ turned to face Emily on the sofa, "So how mad do you think Morgan is going to be when discovers that Alex can get more phone numbers than him?"

Emily started laughing, "Who knows what's going to happen, but I find it hilarious that Hotch thinks my husband is dreamy."

"Well he is, he's got that dark and brooding thing going on."

"Yeah, and, well, that hair."

Alex walked into the living room wearing a pair of black sweatpants with a white t-shirt and a heather grey crew neck sweater.

"Wow you really dressed up, didn't you Lex?" JJ joked when she saw him.

"What happened to Sports Center and my beer?"

"Sorry babe" Emily shrugged as Alex sighed and went to the kitchen to take out dinner. There was no point in arguing with a pregnant woman, that was almost akin to a crime against humanity.

"So what are you doing with Spence?" JJ asked as she walked in behind him, leaving Emily alone with her TV.

"I'm going to help give him some confidence."

"And how is that?"

Alex leaned over the counter, "Because of you all, except Emily, treating him like a baby he has no self-confidence."

"Well he's not going to meet the right person at a bar anyway. That's not where a girl goes to meet a nice guy."

"Hey" Alex whined at JJ's involuntary insult. "We can't all meet on romantic serial killer cases."

"Sorry" JJ laughed. "Okay so what are you going to do?"

"You will have to watch and see" Alex smirked.

* * *

After dinner Reid showed up and Alex immediately commented on his look, "Reid you look like a librarian."

"You told me to wear my best clothes, these are my best."

JJ and Emily laughed at Reid in a bow tie, sweater vest, and corduroys. "Fuck me" Alex groaned and he motioned for Reid to follow him.

Garcia showed up a few minutes later, "Sorry Em but your man better watch out, I just came from my chocolate Adonis' house and he looks hot. He's wearing a tight t-shirt that shows all the goods."

"Okay" Emily replied sarcastically at the threat.

"So Emster how do you feel about your baby daddy hitting on a bunch of pretty young things tonight?"

JJ started laughing as Emily just rolled her eyes again in response. Alex and Reid walked into the living room and all the women looked at them. Alex was wearing a pair of grey pants, a black button up shirt, and a white leather jacket, which all the women thoroughly admired. His hair was a little messy and he had a 5 o'clock shadow. Reid on the other hand had lost the bow tie and sweater vest and was wearing a blue sports coat and red scarf instead.

"What the fuck is Reid wearing Alex? Somehow he looks worse than before" Emily laughed.

"The whole bar will be dressed like Morgan, a tight shirt and jeans but Reid will stand out."

"We weren't arguing against that" JJ remarked through her laughs.

"I don't know he looks kinda cute" Garcia said trying to brighten the situation for the uncomfortable genius.

"Reid ignore them, what is your new identity?"

"New identity?" Emily questioned with another laugh as JJ couldn't stop giggling at Reid wearing Emily's scarf.

"Well, what he's supposed to say Em? Hey I'm Reid from the FBI are you our unsub? No, he needs a new identity so tell them Reid."

Reid spoke up saying everything Alex had come up with, "I'm a gin-swilling tortured poet named Ebenezer Von Trout IV, heir to the Von Trout chemical peel fortune." All the women started to laugh uncontrollably at the ridiculous identity Alex gave him as Reid continued after taking a deep breath, "I shut down emotionally after my fiancé died on safari from Cholera and I am looking for a woman to heal my soul. And Alex is only letting me talk in Oscar Wilde and Hemmingway quotes."

"But…" Alex cut in.

"But only to women who look like they don't know who Oscar Wilde and Ernest Hemmingway are."

JJ and Garcia couldn't help but laugh at Alex's advice while Emily couldn't believe that she had never realized that she married a playboy. Emily knew that her and Alex were complete opposites in that department, evident by the fact that he would never tell her how many women he slept with over the years. Of course it bothered her at the time, but she knew that was just who he was. He needed to feel like he was special, he needed to feel like someone wanted him. Throughout his life he never felt like he was good enough and he yearned for approval. To the outside world Alex was this confident and cocky bad-boy, but she saw him for who he truly was, insecure. Except he now got his security from their relationship. Emily was shaken from her thoughts by Alex continuing on in his lesson in womanizing 101.

"Okay so Reid you go up to a table and you see Penelope, JJ and Emily which girl do you hit on?"

"Well…"

"Okay first Penelope looks like she knows technology, right? She has a keyboard key necklace on, she will google you and find out that the man you say you are does not exist. Therefore she is out."

"Hey" Garcia huffed.

"Next you have Emily and JJ left, now which of those two looks like they know Oscar Wilde quotes?"

"Emily" Reid answered confidently.

"Hey!" JJ complained as she realized she had just been insulted.

"So Ebenezer Von Trout goes for the blonde, not the smart brunette or the technical wiz got it?"

"Hold on Alexander, Garcia gets to be a wiz and Emily a smart brunette but I just get 'blonde?'"

"Sorry Jayje I do not make the rules" Alex smirked.

"Quit being a dick Alex" Emily commanded as she started to usher the team out of her house. "And apologize to JJ."

"Sorry JJ" he mumbled. "I was just trying to help Reid" he argued to Emily who wasn't having any of it.

"Quit being a child."

"Reid don't forget the pipe" Alex commanded as the hallway erupted with laughter when Reid put a wooden pipe in his mouth. "And Reid do not go up to talk to women, wait for them to come to you."

"Why?" JJ whispered to Alex.

"Because he looks kind of weird and he might freak them out" Alex admitted.

* * *

Garcia, JJ, Emily, Hotch and Rossi sat at a bar table watching the other three male agents working the room in their own unique ways. Morgan was working his way around the dance floor, Reid was sitting at the bar with his pipe, and Alex was leaning against a wall looking broody and uninterested. After spending a few minutes observing the bar's crowd movements and possible vantage points during the operation Rossi and Hotch went home, leaving the three women alone to watch the men.

A young woman with a blonde pixie cut walked up the Reid who was standing near the bar holding a drink that Alex forced him to order.

_30 Minutes Earlier_

_Alex and Reid walked up to the bar together. "One single malt scotch please" Alex asked the bartender as he looked to Reid. "Reid you can do this okay? Say you can do this."_

_"I can do this" he shrugged looking down._

_"This is Ebenezer Von Trout's life" Alex smiled as he handed the drink over to Reid._

_"This smells, can't I just order a frozen margarita?"_

_Alex huffed at the ridiculous request, "No! You're supposed to look like a bad-boy poet with a sensitive side not a single mom. You don't have to drink it but hold it near you and put the pipe back in your mouth."_

_"Fine! But the probability of this working is…."_

_"Stop" Alex put his hand up. "Ebenezer Von Trout does not know the words 'probability,' 'statistically,' or 'interestingly' or 'actually' or any numbers okay?" He asked, or more like ordered, before he left Reid at the bar. _

"I'm Erica and I love your clothes" the blonde spoke up to Reid.

"Oh thank you did you know that Oscar Wilde once said you can never be overdressed or overeducated. Funnily enough I…."

Reid was cut off by Alex running up to them. _Didn't Reid get that he was supposed to pass off those quotes as his own words and not say who really said them. This guy was hopeless_ Alex thought as he quickly interjected, "it's funny because Ebenezer dropped out of college to backpack around Europe, but he did get the clothes part right" he smiled.

"Ebenezer?" She was curious about this mystery man.

"Ebenezer Von Trout IV, like the Von Trout chemical peel business."

"Oh My God! My mom loves those, is that what you do?"

Reid looked over to Alex and turned back to Erica shyly, "I'm a poet."

"Can you cite something?"

Reid looked at Alex panicked as Alex stepped in again, "Ebenezer has a tough time reading his poetry aloud, it's mostly about his late fiancé."

"Oh no what happened?" Erica asked as Reid looked to the floor trying to appear contrite.

Alex continued, "she died of cholera while on safari. Have you ever seen the Lion King or Out of Africa?"

"Yes, I love those moves" she sighed.

"It was like that but so much more tragic" Alex said sadly as he looked at Reid and patted his shoulder.

"You are so brave" Erica said hugging Reid as she wrote her number on his hand. "Call me" she smiled until she turned to Alex, "hold on how do you know all this?"

"Cousins" he shrugged.

"So are you part of the Von Trout family too?" She asked hopefully.

"No, I'm the poor cousin" he offered, trying to keep her attention on Reid who was elated to get another phone number.

After Erica walked away Reid turned to Alex, "Alex I have two numbers already."

Alex patted him on the back, "great" he smiled before walking off again.

Meanwhile back at the table Garcia asked, a little more tipsy than she intended to be, "So who do you think is going to win?"

"Alex" both JJ and Emily answered in unison.

"Well I for one believe in the prowess of a certain chocolate thunder" Garcia shot back defensively.

"What about Miss congeniality over there?" Emily cracked pointing at poor Reid who still looked so lost trying to talk to a redheaded woman in her late 20's after he dropped his pipe on the floor. Morgan meanwhile was dancing with a woman on the dance floor and Alex was surrounded by women who looked to be enchanted by his every word.

"What do you think he's telling them?" JJ asked as she pointed over towards Alex.

"Who knows when it comes to Alex."

As the night came to a close Emily and Garcia went to then bathroom as the boys met up with JJ. "So boys who many numbers did you get? Morgan?"

"Five" Morgan answered with a smirk, obviously proud of his work.

"Spence?"

"I got three" Reid said proudly. "I've never gotten that many numbers before."

"Yeah and you did that looking like a complete weirdo, can you image how many girls would like the real Spencer Reid if they liked this creepy loathrio?" Alex asked Reid as JJ smiled at what Alex was able to do for Reid. He wasn't trying to change Spence, he was trying to show him that women would still like him even if he was possibly the strangest man in the bar.

"Thanks" Reid replied with a bright smile.

"Okay dark prince how many numbers did you score?"

"Two" Alex confessed shyly.

JJ was so confused. _How was that even possible? Women were all over him all night._ Meanwhile Morgan was basking in his glory. "You got less numbers than Reid" he teased. Alex just shrugged, he really couldn't care less.

Emily came up and gave Alex a knowing look, "Who won?"

"Morgan" Alex said with a grin, "and I'm so bummed."

"Yay for my chocolate Adonis!" Garcia exclaimed as she dragged Morgan to the bar.

Emily rolled her eyes and went with Reid to share a cab. She told Alex he should stay with the rest of the group and that her and Reid were going to catch an episode of Dr. Who.

"So what really happened?" JJ inquired.

"I lost Jayje" he shrugged again, "it happens."

"What did you say to those girls then?"

"Promise not to tell Hotch?"

"Promise" JJ assured.

"I felt like it was a dick move, making them think I wanted them when I didn't. I felt bad, and what if some poor girl gave her number to all three of us and none of us called her? She'd feel like shit. So I told them I'm married and then one girl, she looked about maybe 21 asked me how I knew and told her" Alex confessed.

"Wait what did you say? Because they were all over it?" JJ was curious to see what the real Alex was like, the Alex that Emily saw. She saw the intense Alex at work and charmingly funny Alex but hardly ever the romantic and sensitive one.

"I said I don't believe in love at first sight, but that when you meet the right person you feel like you could love them in the future, even early on in your relationship. And then they asked me how I knew with Emily and I just said the truth." Alex sighed and continued, "In life you meet hundreds, maybe thousands of people, and they don't really see you. They don't really see you for who you are and quite frankly, in turn, they don't really matter to you, until you meet that one person who does. That one person that sees past the façade and can see who you really are, and that's just it."

JJ smiled at her friend, "That's really beautiful Alex." JJ laughed when she saw Alex blush, he hated anyone to see how sensitive he was. He was conditioned from childhood to think that sensitivity was weakness.

He chuckled with a smirk, "But I am losing hope in humanity because I told everyone I had a pregnant wife and I still got two phone numbers."

"Don't do that" JJ gently commanded.

"What?"

"Quit trying so hard to be an asshole, we already all know you aren't. Quit trying to pretend that you aren't a total softy and take the damn complement" she said firmly.

"I'm sorry, it's just my father…" Alex struggled for the words and JJ's heart broke for him. She couldn't imagine parenting her Henry to be cold and calculating the way Alex's father raised him. She squeezed his hand with a reassuring smile, conveying that she understood what he was trying to say. "I think I better get going, come on JJ let me drive you home."

"Haven't you been drinking?"

Alex cracked a smile, "You know I would never drink on official FBI business Agent Jareau and as your superior I am appalled by your behavior tonight."

"Take it up with Strauss" JJ shot back.

* * *

Alex arrived home a little after 1am to find Reid asleep on his sofa. He shrugged and made his way to bed. "Hey you" he quietly said to Emily who was sleeping on her side.

"Hey baby" she whispered back. "Do you mind showering? The smell makes me sick."

Even though Alex didn't drink anything he knew how sensitive Emily was and how difficult this pregnancy was on her so he agreed. 15 minutes later he crawled into bed with her. "Night Em, night baby I love you both" he mumbled into her neck as he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, after getting out of the shower and making coffee for a hung over Reid, evidently he did drink the whiskey Alex bought him, Alex's phone rang.

"Vanderbilt."

"Edward is that how you answer the phone now?" The stern voice of Secretary Vanderbilt asked.

"Yes" Alex replied curtly.

"Perhaps you can answer with an appropriate greeting in the future. Manners aside, needless to to say I was surprised to find that my only son had married some woman before introducing her to me."

Alex sighed, he knew this was coming. "Father I told you I was dating Emily."

"I assure you Edward, I would never forget the woman who derailed all that we have worked for."

"You worked for father."

"Excuse me?"

"All you worked for. I never had any desire to transition into politics, and I am not having this discussion again" Alex said as his tone became more irate and garnered the attention of Emily, who was making herself a cup of tea.

"Edward you need to learn to control your impulses, which is why we find ourselves in this predicament in the first place."

"There is no predicament!" Alex was getting furious.

"Enough Edward, I will not tolerate this attitude. I was merely calling to invite you to dinner today at 7."

"Today?" Alex scoffed.

"I'm going to be in meetings the rest of the week. Come to dinner and bring your...Emily" The Secretary couldn't bring himself to address this woman as his son's wife.

"I have to ask her."

"Call my assistant this afternoon to confirm, inform her of any allergies Emily may have. I have business to attend to, I'll see you later this evening Edward" The Secretary ordered before he hung up.

Emily walked up to Alex and put her arms around his neck, "What's wrong?"

"We've been summoned."

"Jury duty?" Emily asked trying to pretend that she wasn't listening in on the very intense phone conversation.

"Worse, my father" Alex replied as he went to tell Reid they needed to get going.


	4. The Secretary

"This is such fucking bullshit" Alex complained as he hit the coffee machine.

"Alex what's up man?" Morgan asked concerned as he walked into the small office kitchen.

"This coffee maker is complete shit and it's pissing me off!"

"Alex are you okay?"

"No" he huffed as he crossed his arms "My father is a dick."

Morgan laughed, "Okay?"

"And Emily is supposed to meet him tonight and I don't want her stressing her out because it's not good for her and the…" Alex forgot they didn't tell Morgan yet.

"Baby?" Morgan smiled.

"You knew?" Alex asked as he tilted his head.

"Yeah Reid told me."

"Reid? We didn't tell Reid yet."

"He sad your bedroom was full of baby books" Morgan laughed.

Alex smiled, "We wanted to tell you earlier but we felt we had to tell our parents first, which is why we're in such a mess. Emily's not supposed to be under any additional stress and to be honest her mom was bad enough and my father is like twenty times worse. You know this morning he called my marriage to Emily a lack of impulse control?"

"Wow."

"I know and he's going to be such an asshole to her and it's going to be a fucking mess" Alex said as he ran his hands through his hair.

"You don't think he'll be happy about princess being with child?"

"With child? No, we're not even address that until a much later date."

"Morgan chuckled, "Like when?"

"I was thinking high school graduation…or maybe deathbed confession" Alex smirked.

"Your dad's?" Morgan inquired as he started to laugh.

"No mine" Alex answered, drawing even more laughs from Morgan.

"Trust me, Emily can take care of herself. But I get what you're worried about."

Alex took a deep breath, "I know, I'm just stressed about everything and I don't want to tell Emily because then she's going to be stressed herself. It's not good for her blood pressure, I mean we have a job that's intense enough as it is."

Morgan put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, "It'll be find. Emily can handle herself, even when it comes to your father."

"Says the man who hasn't met him. Any leads on our lady killer?"

"Nothing yet, we have a profile but so far we have nothing to narrow it down."

"What about sexual assaults reported within the last few months? She must have a reason for why she really hates men, she is mutilating their genitals post-mortem."

"We tried that already, too big of a list. We can't narrow it down from D.C., Maryland, and Virginia. Plus the profile says that it could be a childhood trauma that was triggered by a recent crime. It's going to be impossible to find. I hate to agree with Strauss but we're not going to find her until our undercover op tomorrow night."

"Which means another body, fuck me" Alex sighed. "Sometimes I really hate this fucking job" he complained as he walked back to his desk to continue sifting through tips.

* * *

Alex and Emily finally made it home from work at 6 and Emily could see the exhaustion on her husband's face. "It'll be fine" she comforted.

"I know" he gave a weak smile.

"Come on let's get ready" she smiled as she lead him into the shower with her. She gently started stripping him of his clothes and she guided him into the shower with her, kissing against his jawline and neck. "You need to relax baby."

"God you're beautiful" he remarked as he ran his hands through her wet hair. Emily ran her hands over the scars on Alex's chest and kissed him passionately as she pulled him close to her body and began to run her hands along his shoulder blades. "We don't have time for this" he complained.

"Yes we do" Emily husked into his ear as her hands drifted down his body. Alex gulped as he began to kiss and nip his way down her body.

* * *

"We're late" Alex announced as he pulled up to the stately red brick federal-style home.

"It's fine" Emily sighed, relaxed from their earlier escapes.

Alex nodded as he opened the car door for her and led her down the walkway off the Georgetown street to the large historic home. Alex was wearing a pair of black pants with a light blue shirt and stone grey blazer while Emily was wearing a navy blue dress with a beige sequined cardigan. He knocked at the black door and it was promptly opened by a familiar face. The woman was blonde and was in her mid fifties. She was dressed in a simple grey suit with a white top and black pumps. Emily wondered who she was, as she obviously wasn't a member of the staff.

"Maureen" Alex smiled as he gave her a hug.

"Teddy you have no idea how good it is to finally see you. You look very handsome and who have you brought home with you?" She asked kindly.

"Emily Prentiss" Emily said extending her hand.

"Ambassador Prentiss' daughter I'm guessing." Emily nodded in reply, "I'm Maureen Wentworth, Secretary Vanderbilt's executive assistant."

"Nice to meet you."

"She's absolutely gorgeous Teddy. You must be very special for Teddy to bring you home. He always avoids the place like the plague" she teased as she poked Alex in the side. "And then I never get to see him."

Alex chuckled, "Maureen has been with my father for…"

"30 years now, which sadly ages me" she interrupted as she turned back to Emily. "I began working for Ted as a receptionist after college in his congressional office in D.C. and then a few years later I began working as his assistant in New York. I've known this one since he was 7, back when everyone called him Teddy Vanderbilt."

"Please tell me you're staying for dinner" Alex begged.

"I'm sorry honey but I have plans with my husband. I just really wanted to see you and meet the woman that broke the pattern of the emotionally unavailable Vanderbilt men" she quipped. "Your father is waiting for you in the drawing room, he's in a good mood today" she reassured Alex.

"For now" Emily cracked as she entered into the foyer.

"I like her" Maureen smiled as she left, closing the door behind her.

Emily followed Alex through the large home until they approached a room overlooking the garden with a small porch that came off the white glass door. The room was filled with shelves of books and various art pieces. Sitting near a round wood table in a light grey armchair was Secretary Vanderbilt reading The New York Times. He was wearing a pair of blue pants, a lilac shawl collar sweater with cabling on the sleeves, and a white stripped shirt with a blue polka dotted tie. His grey hair was perfectly combed in a side part and his legs were crossed revealing a pair of blue dress socks that complimented his camel brown oxfords. "Sir" Alex coldly greeted as his father looked up from the paper, showing the blue eyes that he shared with his son. However, unlike Alex's eyes Emily thought The Secretary's eyes were cold and empty.

"Edward" he greeted in a stern tone. "You're late."

"I apologize" Alex said as he looked down.

"Tardiness shows a false sense of self-importance Edward, you know this."

"You're not packing" Alex remarked as he noticed that the home wasn't as busy at it normally was this time of year when his father typically moved his work base to the cape.

"Had you bothered to show up to any of the monthly meetings with the family attorneys you would have known that I signed the summer cottage over to you. I'm splitting my time between the country home and Washington now." The Secretary stood from the chair and walked towards the doorway where the couple was standing. "I must say it's a rare treat to see my only son and even rarer when he brings a girl home for me to meet. You look well Edward."

"Thank you father, this is Emily Prenitss" he introduced as Emily stepped forward to shake his father's hand.

"It's nice to meet you Miss Prentiss or I assume it is Mrs. Vanderbilt now. You know I've known your mother for quite sometime. We met when I was serving as Whip and we had a minor disagreement over Russian trade agreements. She was very determined."

"Washington is a small city" Emily smiled.

"Indeed, why don't we move into the dining room" The Secretary said as he walked into the nearby dining room. The room had a large window that overlooked the back gardens. Emily could see that dinner consisted of rack of lamb with mint sauce, garlic roasted potatoes, green beans, and fresh dinner rolls. The pregnant woman inside her couldn't wait for the dinner despite knowing it was going to be awkward. A server came out of the to hand The Secretary a bottle that Alex immediately noticed.

"Macallan 1939?" he inquired.

"For after dinner" The Secretary answered. "Emily, do you drink scotch?"

"No thank you Secretary."

"I see, Edward come join me in the cellar and help me find a bottle of wine for our guest."

Alex gave Emily a look and reluctantly followed his father. Emily was relieved and couldn't wait to start dinner, it looked amazing.

"I need to speak with you privately Edward" The Secretary commanded sternly as they left the dining room into a side hallway that had a small table with a manilla envelope resting on it.

"About?"

"I took the liberty of having a post-nuptial agreement drawn up" he said calmly as he handed Alex the envelope.

"What?" Alex was beyond furious, crinkling the envelope in his hand.

"I have to admit that I'm very disappointed in you and find it imperative to once again compensate for your ignorance by protecting your assets."

"Why? You admitted yourself that Emily came from a good family."

"I'm not doubting her breeding, nevertheless I find her to be a distraction, enabling certain misgivings. She has already taken away your career and I will not have her taking away half of my money with her."

"When? When are you thinking she is going to take your money?"

"When whatever this is ends."

"'This?' 'This' as in my marriage? You are fucking ridiculous!"

"Edward enough" no one talked to The Secretary like that and got away with it.

"No, you don't get to tell me 'enough.' You invite me and my wife to dinner and then tell me that you think she's going to leave me and bankrupt me."

"Please tell me you're not this naïve" The Secretary asked with a smug chuckle. "Do you honestly think a woman like Emily Prentiss is fine being with a man who has no ambitions. A man like you? I know her mother…"

"Well Emily isn't her mother!" Alex interrupted.

"Unfortunately not, at least Elizabeth Prentiss wouldn't feed into your lackadaisical attitude. It makes me wonder what that woman has to gain."

"You know what? I'm done. I'm done with you treating me like shit and I'm done with you talking about Emily like she's some gold digging slut like half the women you dated over the years, cheating on mom when she was dying of cancer. She was dying and you fucking cheated on her you piece of shit! And don't deny it and don't deny that you didn't send me to boarding school so you could fuck around without having to deal with the fact that you had a son. And now you want to be a father? For what? To protect your money? You don't give a shit about me and you never did. You care about how I reflect on you and that's all you care about because it has always been about you. And I want to be very clear _Ted_, I did not come here to seek your approval but to inform you about Emily and I because I wrongly thought that you deserved the courtesy" Alex yelled as he stomped back to the dining room. "Come on Emily were leaving" he said as he pulled her chair out as The Secretary came back into the room.

"Edward compose yourself and have a drink" The Secretary ordered as he sat down at the head of the table.

"You do not tell me what to do" Alex responded quietly as he picked up the bottle of scotch. "And I'm taking this, thanks for the wedding gift _dad_."

"That's a $10,000 bottle of scotch!"

"Buy a new one" Alex ordered as he left the room with Emily. Alex was right, his father was way worse than her mother.

* * *

Emily drove the duo home in silence as Alex stewed, leaning his head against the car window. The envelope had fallen on the floor by his feet. He exited the car as soon as they arrived home and Emily took the opportunity to send a quick text to Morgan.

**Alex needs a drinking buddy, dad was total dick. $10,000 scotch- E.**

Emily walked into their apartment to find Alex on the sofa squeezing a stress ball to death. She smiled, "I was going to give you some time to decompress, is it okay if I head to JJ's?" Alex grunted in response. Emily kissed him on the forehead and whispered, "I love you" to him before walking out the door.

A half and hour later Emily walked into JJ's house to find both Garcia and JJ waiting for her.

"How was it?" Garcia asked with a smile.

"It was a complete clusterfuck and that's putting it mildly" Emily groaned as she sat on JJ's couch with Alex's envelope.

"Gumdrop what is that?"

"I'm guessing a post-nup."

"Okay so we'll get to that later, have you eaten?" JJ asked.

"No and dinner looked so good" Emily complained.

"Come on I have chicken fingers left from Henry's dinner. What was Captain fancypants Jr. serving?"

"Lamb with roasted potatoes."

"And you left!" Garcia exclaimed.

"It was so horrible. Alex's dad made my mom look like Mary fucking Poppins."

Garcia and JJ started laughing as JJ spoke up, "So what happened?"

"Okay so we first show up and we're met by one of Alex's dad's assistants and she was really nice and said how much she missed Alex and called him Teddy and it was adorable."

"Aww" Garcia cooed.

"And then she said that…wait we need a new nickname for The Secretary."

"I call him Vandy the elder" Garcia responded.

"Kind of long Pen. Figure something out Emily so you can tell us."

"Well, according to Maureen, Vandy Sr. was supposed to be in a good mood, 'supposed to' being the operative phrase. So we go into the drawing room…"

"Rich people" JJ interrupted, nudging Garcia as she made fun of Emily.

"Shut up JJ, so anyway he's there and he of course criticizes Alex for not showing up to some legal meeting but on the bright side we now own the Cape Cod house."

"Yes!"

"Jayje I meant me and Alex not me and you" Emily cracked before she went on. "So we went into the dining room and the dinner looked amazing and Vandy Sr. tells Alex to go with him to the wine cellar and that's when everything goes to hell." Emily stopped talking and started eating a chicken finger which Garcia immediately snatched away from her, "Robbing a pregnant lady of food? That's a new low Garcia."

"Continue the story young gumdrop!"

"Okay, I wasn't supposed to be listening, but Vandy Sr. gave Alex this envelope and said to him 'Here I am again fixing things for you again before Emily leaves you and takes half my money.'"

"WHAT?!" JJ and Garcia exclaimed at the same time.

Just then Will came in from the other room frustrated, "JJ can you please be quiet? I'm trying to put Henry down."

"Alex's dad told him that Emily only wanted to marry him so she could divorce him for his money" JJ shot back at him with a glare.

"Nevermind then" Will said meekly with his hands up as he backed away.

JJ looked back to Emily, "Go on."

"And Alex was furious and Vandy Sr. went on about how Alex should have married my mom instead of me.

"WHAT?!"

"I know it was disturbing. I'm trying to box that whole issue up. All things considered, it was a disaster and then Alex completely lost it. He tells his father to and I quote, 'stop talking about Emily like she's one of your gold digging slut girlfriends.'"

"OMG GO ALEX!" Garcia clapped.

"Garcia volume" Emily said before continuing, "And he said about how he knew Vandy Sr. cheated on his mom while she was dying of cancer and then he took his dad's best scotch, which apparently cost ten grand, and said thanks for the wedding present and we left. It was terrible and all I kept thinking was that I couldn't believe I didn't get to eat any of that dinner" Emily pouted.

"$10,000 scotch?" JJ was floored.

"Oh yeah Vandy Sr. is totally loaded, like billionaire loaded that's why he can't be President, right gumdrop?"

"Right, w-what?" Emily asked looking shocked.

"Yeah, he would probably never want to disclose his full financials."

"Garcia how much is Alex's dad worth?" JJ asked curiously.

"No one really knows but it's more than at least $300 million. That's all he will cop to having, but most of his money is hidden in family trusts. He's more than Prentiss rich, which is still very rich."

"Shut up Garcia" Emily snapped.

"And you come over here and eat my food for free?" JJ asked in a mock angry tone.

"The envelope my pregnant raven haired princess."

"I don't think we should open it."

"Maybe you should so you can diffuse the bomb later" JJ advised. "Wait where is Alex?"

"Home, probably drowning in a vat of gin" Emily smirked. "It was so bad tonight I don't know if they'll ever fix this. I think Alex gave up on any chance."

"I can't even with that man, I should wipe him from the earth."

"Thanks Pen but I think that man could survive a nuclear apocalypse, like a cockroach."

"A very rich very evil cockroach" JJ snickered. "So back to Alex you just left him by himself?"

"I sent over Morgan" Emily shrugged eating another chicken finger.

"Emily you are so hopeless, you should have been there for him. What if he needs a shoulder to cry on?"

Emily just about choked on her food laughing, "Jayje, Alex is not Will, he never cries. I have seen him cry once and he never talks about his feelings with me. To be honest I have just accepted that is who he is."

Garcia cut in, "Well my chocolate Adonis will be there for him."

"I could see that as being a problem" JJ predicted.

"Why?" Emily dumbly asked.

"God Em you have a serious case of pregnancy brain going on. Alex is for all purposes, and remember Em we still love him, but he's what you could consider emotional crippled."

"What?"

"Em he's a mess. We love him but when it comes to feelings Alex is worse than Reid and I am sure that he will not take to having the guys all in his personal business. Let me ask you this would emotionally crippled Emily from 4 years ago be okay with this?"

"I was never emotionally crippled" Emily shot back defiantly.

"Yes you were."

"And we're so proud of you Emster, but you really were a hot mess when it came to being friends with people" Penelope added.

"What does this have to do with Alex again?"

"He is going to hate people knowing personal things about him because he has issues" JJ tried to explain. "This is like talking to a rock" she complained turning to Garcia. "Go home and talk to your husband."

"The whole place is going to smell like a whiskey refinery though" Emily griped.

"Out" JJ commanded as Emily got a phone call.

"Prentiss. What do you mean he wasn't there? Yes, it was really ten grand. I don't know his father is apparently Scrooge McDuck rich." Emily turned from the phone and looked at her female friends, "We should call him Vandy Warbucks!"

"I love it" Garcia squealed.

Emily went back to her phone call, "Okay I'll call you. Bye." After hanging up the phone she looked at her friends, "Alex is MIA."

"I shall track his phone!"

"Garcia no, he needs time to be alone. Do not bring this up tomorrow" Emily said firmly. "Thank you for letting me vent but I should get going."

"Bye Em" JJ smiled before turning to Garcia after Emily walked out the door. "How did the two most emotionally stunted people on the planet manage to find each other?"

"We should call and ask Reid" Garcia laughed as she collected her purse and went to see Kevin.


	5. Night Running

Emily was surprised that Alex never came home that night and was even more worried when she didn't see him at his desk the next morning.

"Good morning princess" Morgan smiled to her.

"Hey Morgan, have you seen Alex?" She asked distracted.

"No but Hotch said he was already here when he came in" Morgan replied as he was packing up his things. "He went to check out a body this morning and I'm actually supposed to be heading to the morgue now."

"Anything new on the bodies?" It wasn't the question she wanted to ask but the one she needed to.

"Nope, but it's out girl. Taser burns, body was bound and gagged, victim fits the unsub's type and friends admitted that he frequented the bar. And before you even ask, there is no physical evidence and still no clues about where the victim was killed. The dump site was clean, except for the body. Alex is supposed to be heading into the office now if you're wondering" Morgan smiled. He knew his partner must have been worried by Alex's disappearance.

Emily set her things down at her desk and walked into the conference room to find JJ working on a press release, "I think I may do my tip line sifting in here with you" she smiled. "Where are all the files?"

"There are none left. Hotch said Alex came it and did it all last night. Now you not knowing must mean that you two aren't talking" she deduced not even looking up from her iPad.

"He didn't come home last night but it's fine" Emily waved her off. It wasn't really fine but this is what Alex did, he ran away. Additionally, Emily being the consummate professional did not want to discuss her marital problems at work.

"Keeping in everything isn't good for your baby" JJ informed Emily after finally looking up from the press release she had just finished. "I know you want to keep things out of work but it's okay to be concerned Emily, and it's okay for you to talk to me. You always do the same for me and the rest of the team. Let me help you this time."

Emily smiled at her friend, "I really appreciate that Jayje, but to be honest this isn't a new issue for us. Alex gets upset and doesn't talk about it to me and I'm left wondering what's going on with him."

"That's really not good for a relationship Em."

"I know but what am I supposed to do? Beat it out of him? I'm not the most open person either but Alex is next level closed off about his feelings. I don't know what to do except wait."

JJ sighed and took Emily's hand, "I'm sorry."

Emily shrugged, "so what does Hotch want us to do now?"

"At 3 he wants us to work on setting up the bar but until then just work on consults. We're at a dead-end, we can't find anything on the gun, knife, or bodies. We have absolutely nothing. This definitely wasn't an instance of local P.D. fuck ups, it's almost a perfect murder."

"This is fucking ridiculous."

"Tell me about it" JJ huffed. They hadn't been on a more frustrating case in years. There was no physical evidence and the profile was too difficult to narrow down outside of the unsub being a woman with possible sexual assault in the 20-40 age bracket. The crime scenes were just dump sites and the place where the men were killed was yet to be found. Emily surmised that the unsub would have had to have access to some sort of warehouse or basement, but even that had narrowed it down very little. Then there was the issue that even if she was sexually assaulted it was possible that she never reported it and decided to seek justice on her own, once again leaving a cold trail. Overall the entire case depended on catching the unsub in action at the bar and hoping to God that she didn't change her hunting ground. The managers and bartenders at the bar were interviewed to see if any sort of assault occurred on the property that could lead to the unsub's fascination with the place, but once again there was nothing. Everything about the crimes were personal and, therefore, only known to the unsub herself.

"I don't like relying on only one option" Emily spoke up as she yawned, she hadn't slept well all night and that coupled with her pregnancy made her especially tired.

"I doubt anyone does. Em you need to get some sleep before tonight, okay?"

Emily just nodded in response.

Alex walked into the BAU and looked at Emily's desk to find her things. He knew he was in trouble but he felt betrayed, stressed, and really didn't want to deal with Emily at work. That was the problem with working together, they always saw each other. Normally it was nice to be together and be able to intimately share their day in the way that other couples couldn't. Part of what made BAU marriages fail so often was the fact that other agents' spouses had no idea how physically and emotionally taxing the days could be. Alex and Emily didn't have that problem, but they did have Strauss monitoring them, waiting for them to bring their personal life into work so she could fire them. In that regard working together could be problematic. However, little did Alex know that other factors were at play that might derail his little plan of avoiding Emily.

JJ's phone vibrated in the quiet conference room and she looked at it to find a text from Garcia.

**The dark prince is in the building.- P**

JJ smiled at her phone, "Pen just texted me, Alex is here now."

"Oh yay" Emily groaned sarcastically as she got up from the chair slowly and walked to the bullpen to find Alex sitting at his desk. "Where have you been?" She asked coldly.

"Working."

_Great one word answers _Emily internally complained. "You know most men might be concerned about leaving their pregnant wives worried all night."

"Not at work Emily" he snapped.

"Well this the only place where you'll talk to me without running away."

Alex looked up and leaned towards Emily's desk over the partition, "how long did it take you to tell the people we work with all of my business? 12 seconds?"

"First of all, these people 'we work with' are our friends and they care about us. Secondly, I asked if it was okay that I see JJ last night and I didn't hear any complaints. What did you think I was going to talk to her about? Shoes? God Alex you always do this, you shut down and then you get mad at me for not knowing why you're upset."

"I don't always do that" he argued.

"Yes you do and I get so sick of it."

"Emily this is who I am."

"Well then you're going to have to change. So tell me what's really bothering you" she commanded.

"Not here."

"Okay parking lot, NOW" she ordered as she got up and left towards the parking lot. Alex knew he had no choice but to follow her unless he wanted to crash at Reid's house for the next few weeks. After they arrived near Emily's car she continued, "What the fuck is going on with you?"

Alex looked down at the ground, "I just don't want everyone knowing everything about me or my father. Is that so strange to you? Because if I recall correctly, last year you were all about privacy from your team. But I guess you are only concerned about privacy when it services you, Emily."

Emily was not accepting that half-assed explanation, and she was not going to let him turn this around on her. "Do not try to pull that shit with me Edward Vanderbilt. You know why we had to keep our relationship quiet at first and it had nothing to do with me wanting privacy from the team. In fact JJ and Garcia already knew the night we started dating, so try again. Why are you so upset? Give me a good reason."

"Because what if…" he trailed off.

"Use your words Alex" Emily coaxed gently.

"What if I turn into him?" he said softly in voice that was barely audible. "What if they think I'm going to be like him with our baby?"

Emily started to laugh, "Is this honestly what this all about?"

"Don't laugh at me" Alex said as he looked up with his arms crossed.

Emily pulled him into a hug and whispered into his ear, "Nobody, not me or anyone else thinks you are going to be the same kind of father as your dad. He's selfish and conniving and you are in no way like him. You Alex are warm, kind, considerate, compassionate, loving, and selfless. You have a heart."

"And what if I do turn into him?"

"Than you'll wish you had me sign that post-nup" she smiled as she pulled back. "Why didn't you just talk to me?"

"I didn't want to stress you out."

"So my husband disappearing for the night without calling me wouldn't stress me out?" She asked sarcastically. "You are so stupid sometimes but I still somehow love you" she said as she kissed him softly.

"Every so often I just wish he would be happy for me, you know? I don't even need it all the time, but I wish just once in a while he would show me that he…"

"Loves you" Emily finished for him warmly.

Alex scoffed, "You know he never remembers my birthday. I remember once as a kid getting this gift for my birthday, it was a baseball glove signed by Wade Boggs who used to be my favorite player. Fucking traitor went to the Yankees in '92, anyway I get the gift and I'm so excited until I read the card." Alex started to laugh in possibly the saddest tone Emily had even heard, "I knew that it wasn't really from him because it was signed 'love dad' and he never said that to me, ever. A few years later Maureen admitted to me that it was from her. Every gift he ever gave me came from a secretary or assistant."

"I'm so sorry baby, but believe me when I say you're nothing like him" Emily reassured as she stroked his cheek. "You'll be a great dad. I mean we will mess this child up" she joked as they both laughed. "But it will be in our own loving emotionally crippled way."

"We're not emotionally crippled."

Emily smiled, "according to JJ we are."

Alex smirked as he eyes started to twinkle again, "Fuck JJ." Emily just laughed at her husband. She had to admit that they shared a strange sense of humor. "No boarding school" Alex insisted.

"No boarding school."

"Until they become a teenager and then we send them off" he laughed as the somber mood began to be lifted.

"So what did you do last night?" She asked as they walked back to the BAU.

"I went to the batting cages in Maryland."

"What are you 12?"

"And then I went to the FBI gym and finally work."

"What time did you go to bed last night and where?"

"I didn't" he shrugged.

"No wonder you look like shit" she quipped.

"Hey" he feigned angry as he kissed her on the temple. "You're cruel."

"So what happened to the $10,000 bottle of scotch?"

"I'm saving it for a special occasion."

"Like?"

"Like a toast" he smiled as they walked into the building and put their professional masks on. "You're so perfect" he whispered before they strode through the BAU doors.

* * *

At 3pm Alex, Garcia, and Hotch went to Existence to set up surveillance cameras while the rest of the team was sent home. Alex decided which were the best vantage points while Garcia set up the cameras and Hotch supervised.

"I'm theorize that she's going to abduct him in the alleyway" Alex remarked. "I was thinking of using the next roof over as a vantage point."

"That would work, you can radio in any changes in activity."

"Bossman where are we going to be setting up our base?"

"Van across the street, Vanderbilt will be on the rooftop. You, Rossi, and Emily will be in the van and Reid, myself, and JJ will be observing the club. However, we need to catch her making a move on Morgan or else we won't get a warrant."

"I understand" Alex replied.

"Do not go too early, Rossi will give you the go ahead."

"Okay" he agreed.

"Let's finish up here and be ready to be back here by 8pm opening time. We still have no idea when she abducts her victims."

"I still can't believe she wasn't caught on the security cameras" Garcia complained.

"Management never fixed them after they broke."

"This is like the great fortuity of tomfuckery" Alex mumbled as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Tomfuckery? You mean tomfoolery" Hotch corrected with a small smile.

"No Hotch, it has gone so far past tomfoolery that we have now crossed into tomfuckery" he clarified much to the amusement of Hotch and a giggling Garcia.

"Okay then let's get going" Hotch tried to command as he suppressed a laugh. Alex had this effect on him that made him brighten up. The team noticed it as well and welcomed the minor softening of their leader.

* * *

Later that night the plan of meeting at 8 changed when Hotch insisted that everyone arrive earlier to go over the plan again. Hotch commissioned JJ to call everyone to inform them of the modification. Morgan and Garcia were excited about the operation, Reid was nervous and mentioned that he was going to wear a scarf, and Rossi was going to be informed by Hotch, per usual. Which left only Alex and Emily for JJ to call.

JJ called Emily's phone only to have her not pick up. She called again to have Emily finally pick up on the last ring.

"Prentiss" she snapped sounding extremely frustrated.

"Emily it's me, are you okay? Is the baby okay?" JJ was worried. Were her and Alex still fighting?

"Yeah fine, what do you want?"

"Okay snippy, we have to be at Existence at 7 instead of 8, okay?"

"We, ohhh, we have to be there early" Emily repeated louder than she needed.

"Yeah" JJ replied shrugging as she looked at Will.

That's when she heard the other breathless voice. "Make up a lie so we can finish."

_Finish what? Eww gross, _JJ thought. But she was interested in how cool, calm, and collected Emily Prentiss was going to play this off. JJ heard Emily moan. "You okay Em?"

"Yeah perfect" she struggled to get out.

"You're breathing is really heavy" JJ said as she smirked to Will. "Are you in labor?!"

"Yeah, no! I'm, I'm running."

"Running huh? In the dark?"

"Yeah night running" Emily moaned again while trying to get out that last word. "Can we get an extra 15 minutes to get back home? Oh god…"

"Emily are you in danger?!" JJ yelled out as Will started laughing next to her.

"No I-I fell. Mmmmm God right THERE" she almost screamed. "Sorry I saw a spider."

"Okay well finish your night running and come in" JJ said as she hung up and rolled her eyes.

"Emily having a good night?" Will inquired in his southern drawl with a wink.

"At least she'll be in a good mood" JJ laughed as she went to get dressed again.

**All things are sorted with The Secretary now. Right?**

**Also will Morgan get their unsub? **


	6. Work That Fire Escape

**We're working towards the final big case of this series and it will tie in with Alex's past in another roundabout way.****  
**

**Also more about Alex's prior career will be revealed, with a few hidden clues. **

The team all crowded into the white surveillance van to go over the operation. Morgan was once again wearing his standard jeans and tight t-shirt combination while Reid was a navy blue scarf. Alex was dressed in a pair of black pants and a grey shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

Hotch began briefing the team, "Alex put your ear piece in and go ahead and make your way up to the neighboring rooftop. Remember do not move until you get the go ahead from Prentiss or Rossi."

"Copy that" he said as he walked out of the van and began climbing up the fire escape of the rooftop next to Existence's.

"Damn, dark prince work that fire escape" Garcia remarked before turning around to remember that she wasn't alone.

"Please stop sexually harassing my husband" Emily joked before Hotch shot everyone a glare and proceeded to brief the team once more before the undercover op got under way.

"Prentiss and Rossi focus on monitoring outside of the club, Garcia you'll assist JJ, Reid and I with observing inside the bar. We won't have ear pieces so as not to seem suspicious, we have no idea how dangerous this unsub is and we cannot afford to compromise this operation. We have to get her tonight, that is an order. Everything will fall to you in the van. Morgan try to draw in our unsub but don't look too motivated. Is everyone clear on their assignments?" Hotch sternly asked as he finished his lecture.

The team nodded 'no' in unison and prepared to break away on to their various assignments. As the rest of the team made their way inside of the bar, Emily, Rossi, and Garcia heard Alex humming. "What are you doing?" Emily asked over the radio.

"Fixing my guns" Alex replied cheerily.

Rossi and Emily laughed while Alex was getting settled up on the rooftop, assembling a scope sniper rifle.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" Rossi asked with a smile.

"You don't know the half of it" Alex laughed as he went to the ledge and began monitoring the alley, "No movement behind the car and no suspicious cars."

"Copy that Vanderbilt" Rossi responded. "Check in periodically."

Back in the bar Morgan and Reid were chatting up various women, or at least Reid was trying to, while JJ and Hotch split up. The crowded bar allowed for very little surveillance work as the hours went by.

"Anything Vanderbilt?" Rossi asked Alex who was still waiting on the rooftop.

"Negative, no movement, no suspicious vehicles, no wheel barrels."

"Wheel barrels?" Emily asked as the van started laughing.

"I'm trying to get an alternative theory of how this unsub could transport an incapacitated body without a vehicle" he argued back. "A wheel barrel could be an inconspicuous aid."

"But wouldn't someone notice a woman walking down the street with a man in a wheel barrel."

"Emily you're my wife, your supposed to support me unconditionally" Alex cracked.

"I'm supposed to love you unconditionally, I don't have to support the worst ideas in FBI history."

"You're the worst" he shot back with a laugh.

"Garcia anything?" Emily asked beyond frustrated with this case. She was exhausted and just wanted to go home.

"Sorry pumpkin but we've got nothing and now we are heading into hour 1."

"Fuck me" Emily groaned as she rubbed her face. She couldn't remember the last time she stayed awake until 1am on purpose.

"You okay kiddo?" Rossi inquired sounding concerned.

Emily sighed, "I'm exhausted."

"I know" Rossi said as he patted her shoulder. They were all worn out but Emily was pregnant and he knew that it was wearing on her. He could see it in her eyes. Interestingly enough he noticed a certain brightness to Alex's eyes, possibly because this was an area where Alex excelled.

Back inside the club JJ made her way over to Hotch, who was standing over by the bar.

"Get any numbers?" She asked with a grin.

Hotch replied sternly, "I wasn't focused on that."

JJ smiled at her cranky boss. Everyone was on edge during this case, "The bar is closing in 35 minutes, do you think there's any chance that she is hunting at another bar tonight?"

"Let's hope not."

"Is that where we are on this case? Hoping?"

"I think we're always hoping when we have a case" Hotch replied as Reid approached them.

"I give up, maybe I should go help in surveillance. She's not going to be after me anyway. I'm not what one would characterize as an alpha male" he shrugged.

"Keep an eye on Morgan" Hotch ordered.

Meanwhile, while Morgan was leaving the bathroom he was approached by a thin brunette woman in her mid-thirties, "Hi I'm Sarah" she said with an easy smile.

"Trevor Harris."

"Nice to meet you Trevor, let me ask you a question Trevor. How would you like to show me a good time?" She seductively whispered in his ear as she dropped her voice an octave.

"Forward" Morgan replied with a smile as he looked around his surroundings.

"Doesn't a man like you appreciate that, appreciate showing a woman that they are a woman" she answered back as she dragged him out the back door. Morgan had no doubt that this was their unsub and knew he couldn't make a move until after she did. So he followed her out the back door to the alleyway. Hopefully Alex would have eyes on them.

"I got eyes on Morgan leaving the backdoor with our suspect" Alex radioed over as he looked through the scope.

"Are you sure she's the unsub?" Rossi asked.

"I hope so, otherwise he has a woman's hand down his pants on official FBI time."

"Has she made a move?"

"Not yet, fuck she's their moving. I don't have a vantage point."

"Are they still in the alleyway?"

"I can't see over this ledge, I think I see movement going south."

"Is Morgan in any danger?"

"I don't know" Alex said as he started packing up his stuff until he heard a stifled moan. "I'm in pursuit."

"Will be you coming down the roof?"

"No time" Alex radioed in as he ran across the roof to notice a the back tail light of a vehicle parked on an empty street. "I'm going to jump roofs" he answered calmly as he looked at the next building's roof in front of him.

"What the fuck Alex?!" Emily yelled as she cut into Rossi and Alex's conversation. "Alex! I'm not going to be a single mother!"

"Emily" Alex said softly as he examined the roof that was 8 feet away and seemed to drop about 5 feet. "Go to the alleyway behind the bar and follow it to the next street over to get Morgan. It looks to be a black sedan" he commanded firmly and he walked backwards to get a running start to make his jump. Alex cleared the roof and rolled into a landing, hitting his back a little too hard on the concrete. "Fuck" me mumbled much to Emily's relief. Alex ran to the ledge and through the scope of his gun could see Morgan's lifeless body being dumped into the trunk of the car. Alex waited a few seconds before he could take the shot, clipping the shoulder of the unsub.

* * *

Emily and Rossi apprehended the unsub with Garcia, who popped the trunk on the car to reveal a bound and tased Morgan. "Oh my god my chocolate thunder what did that little wench do to you? Emily we need a medic!" She shouted.

"Pen he's fine, he's just knocked out. He's breathing. Go get JJ, Reid, and Hotch out of the bar." Emily commanded as she took out her phone and put in a call to 911. Emily didn't want to deal with Alex right then and Rossi noticed it.

"He made the right call" he said to her firmly.

"I don't doubt that he did" she said coldly.

Hotch, JJ, Garcia, and Reid joined the duo shortly along with a uniformed police officer unit who took the cuffed unsub.

"Good shot" Hotch remarked when he looked at the unsub's shoulder.

"Carrie Boulder age 33" Rossi spoke up. "I checked her I.D."

"I'll run her later" Garcia said as she looked to Morgan who was being attended to by medics at an ambulance.

"Where's Alex?" JJ asked, seeing the worry on her friend's face.

"Up there" Emily pointed to the nearby roof.

"I thought he was…"

"Don't" Rossi interrupted the young profiler.

Alex walked up to the group limping slightly with his rifle draped across his side. "Morgan?"

"Getting checked out, you should too" Emily spoke sternly.

"Okay then" Alex smiled. He knew his wife was pissed at him, but he didn't regret what he did.

"I'll walk with you" JJ spoke up as she walked with Alex over to the ambulances. "So what happened?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Why is Emily pissed at you?"

"I jumped roofs to get a better shot" he shrugged.

"What?!"

"Morgan was in real danger" Alex argued.

"But you could died."

Alex laughed, "JJ I understand your concern but I did stuff like this all the time. This was my job, this is what I did. It's what I was trained to do."

JJ nodded as the paramedics looked over Alex and established that he would be fine outside of significant bruising. After they left she offered to ride with Alex to the local precinct while the rest of the team went to pick up their vehicles at the BAU and Garcia went with Morgan to the hospital, where he was to be kept under observation.

"Do you ever miss it?" JJ asked Alex as they drove down the empty streets.

"The CIA?"

"Yeah."

"Sometimes, it felt good to be the best at something."

"Alex you have to know you're really great in the BAU."

"It's different Jay. I'm adjusting but I'm never going to be as good as Hotch, or Rossi, or Emily, or Morgan, or Reid, or you."

"Then why did you transfer out?"

Alex sighed, "I made a mistake. A bad mistake and it was hard to just go back and be okay with it. And then I met Emily and I like being able to spend time with her throughout the day."

JJ smiled, "She really loves you and you have to understand why she would be scared. She's hormonal Alex and you're the father of her baby."

"I get that JJ I really do, but out here I can't just be the father of her baby. I have to be Agent Vanderbilt, her superior who she trusts to make tactical decisions. If I didn't think like that Morgan could be gone now. It's not like we had any way to track him…."

"I know and I get what you're saying, but try to understand where she's coming from."

"I do" he smiled as they pulled into a D.C. police precinct.

* * *

Alex and JJ walked into the police precinct to wait for the rest of the team. Hotch had requested that Emily and Reid try to get a confession while he and Rossi went to investigate Boulder's residence. Garcia had found out, from the hospital no less, that Boulder had never reported a sexual assault but did go to an abortion clinic a month before the murders started which must have been the trigger. Alex worried that this would be a tough case on Emily but decided to trust her. After two hours of a fruitless interrogation Emily sat on a bench outside of the police precinct as the sun started to rise, she was unconsciously trailing her fingers over her still flat stomach that had yet to show her baby bump.

"You look tired" Alex said softly as he sat down next to her.

"Probably because I am" she snapped.

"It's been a long night" Alex spoke as he took a deep breath. "You're upset with me."

"You got that? Well consider me impressed."

"I understand why you're upset, I really do. But Em you have to understand that I have a job to do." Alex scratched the back of his neck as he tried to find the words to gently explain to Emily why she couldn't really be upset with him for doing his job. "Do you know why I haven't asked you to go home today?"

Emily sighed, she knew what Alex was getting at. "Because you trust me."

"I do, explicitly. I trust that you will do whatever is best for you and our baby. I trust that you can decide when you need to be taken out of the field and I'll trust when you want to go back to work, if you ever want to leave at all. I trust whatever decision you feel you need to make because you know your body better than I do. And all I want is for you to do the same for me. I want you to believe that when I say I can do something I mean it. I'm not just trying out stunts. I need you to trust me and my abilities in the field."

Emily nodded, "I know. Can we just blame it on hormones?"

Alex laughed, "Definitely. And I'll have you know I like some of the hormones."

"God, I am so tired" Emily complained as she burrowed into Alex's chest. "Why am I always so fucking tired?"

"Maybe because you're pregnant" Alex answered with a wink.

"This baby of yours is sucking the life out of me. I really want to go home."

"I'll tell Hotch we're going home. They already found the kill site at Boulder's house they don't need us anymore. It doesn't seem like she's going to confess anyway."

"We should go see Morgan."

"But you're tired."

"He's my partner and you know his ego is going to be more bruised than you back" she replied with a smile.

"True" Alex yawned. He had slept even less than Emily. "Your mom called to apologize to me this afternoon."

"She did" Emily's face lit up.

"Yeah, she wanted to know if you got her gift. What did she get us?"

"A silver baby brush" Emily answered with a smile as Alex started playing with her hand. "Her note said that after we name the baby we have to give it back so it can be engraved."

"That was really thoughtful. See your mom isn't that bad."

"Maybe your dad will…"

Alex cut her off, "This is just who he is Emily. This is who he chooses to be. You have to accept that he's never going to be happy for us unless he feels he has complete control over us. Can we talk about something else? Like where we are going to live and what we're going to name our child?"

"Okay, after Morgan."

"Okay.

"And I want a back rub."

"You are very demanding" Alex smiled as he took out his phone to call Hotch and let him know that they were heading to see Morgan and were going to head home afterwards.

* * *

"Hey million dollar baby" Alex greeted Morgan as he and Emily walked into Morgan's hospital observation room with two cups of coffee for both him and Garcia.

"Why are you calling me that?" An irritated Morgan inquired.

"I wanted to make a few trunk jokes but Emily said it was too soon" Alex joked as Emily hit him playfully.

"Don't listen to him Morgan. It's not like you were warned for days that this could happen before this assignment but then were mentally incapacitated when a woman put her hand down your pants."

"Shut up Prentiss" Morgan snapped, causing the laughter of the couple and Garcia.

"Hey superman" Garcia greeted Alex with a smile.

"Hey superwoman, hacking into medical records in a hospital no less."

"I make HIPAA my bitch every time" Garcia smugly responded.

"Really thanks everyone for bailing me out" Morgan sheepishly said.

"Morgan you kinda had to let her do whatever she wanted to you or else we couldn't make an arrest. You did good" Emily assured her partner as she patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah Morgan don't worry about it, we're just messing with you" Alex agreed. "It would have happened to any of us, and you would have any of our backs in a second."

Morgan nodded and took a drink of coffee. "By the way you both owe me a $10,000 bottle of scotch…and gas money for the other day."

"You can have one drink" Alex promised, trying to appease the man.

"Okay where is it?" Morgan asked as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"Well I was thinking of doing it in a hospital, when the baby is born. Probably as a toast to the new godfather" he smiled as he looked to Emily.

"Me?"

"You're my partner Morgan, who else would it be?" Emily smiled at the touched man.

"Thank you so much you guys, it means so much to me. I will teach this kid everything it needs to know" He remarked with a knowing grin to Garcia.

"What have we done" Alex joked to Emily.

"And what about me?" Garcia pouted.

"You have Henry" Emily reminded her.

"But Henry's old news. I want the new super baby of spy gorgeousness to be my new minion" she complained.

"Ooh we're so going to tell JJ that you want to trade in her stale Henry for our fresh baby" Emily threatened.

"If you so much as think about it Prentiss I will clean out all of your bank accounts and you'll have to borrow money from Vandy Warbucks."

"What the fuck is Vandy Warbucks?" A perplexed Alex wondered. He was too goddamn tired for Garcia and her quirky language.

"Your dad" Garcia said with an evil grin.

Alex rose his hands in surrender, "We'll do whatever you want Garcia."

"Hmmm, well I heard that a certain beach house is in your possession now and I've had a hankering to see my Kevin clad in a speedo."

"And I think my morning sickness has returned" Emily cracked.


	7. The Devil's Finest Trick

**There is a VERY small hint about Alex's CIA past in the middle of this chapter. **

**I'll write a one-shot about a criminal minds pairing for the first person who can guess it correctly in the comments section before I reveal it. Just post your guess and the pairing you want. Otherwise it will be revealed sometime in Part 2 of this story.**

**This chapter contains a few fluffy sections to begin with before ending with that dramatic setup I promised in the summary. **

Alex and Emily were lying together on opposite sides of the sofa. Emily was reading a baby name book and Alex was looking at different real estate brochures from the 3 different houses they had toured. One house was on O Street and the other two were located on P street in Georgetown. Alex had been debating which house for a few weeks by that point and it was driving Emily absolutely crazy. "I can't narrow it down" Alex complained.

"I told you that any one of them is fine Alex, but I am not going to another open house."

"Why not?"

"Because it's pointless" she said steely. "You picked 3 great houses and you need to narrow it done yourself. You're the one whose picky."

"I am not picky."

"Sure" Emily rolled her eyes. "You won't live in Virginia, you only want to live in Georgetown, you only want a townhouse, you only want a house built before the 1920's, no carpet floors, and you only want a house that has at least four bedrooms. Oh, and you want a house that looks somewhat modernized without losing its original charm. Did I get it all?"

Alex quietly added, "a garage would be nice."

Emily started laughing, "Alex can you see where I'm coming from?"

"Yeah. I just want the perfect house, you know?"

"I know but we are on a limited timeframe. We actually want to move in before the baby comes and want time to finish a nursery. Okay? So you need to pick a place before next week or I'm going to pick an address out of a hat. Now nursery colors."

"I don't know" Alex shrugged, he wasn't much of a decorator. "Isn't it either pink or blue?"

"I was thinking yellow."

"Yellow?" Alex couldn't hide the disdain in his face.

"What's wrong with yellow? Are you saying you would prefer pink to yellow?"

"Yes. Pink can be soft but yellow, it's so bright. I don't like it. What about white?"

"We are not having a white nursery. It's too sterile and I don't agree with your opinions on yellow. However, I will give you grey if you want a neutral color but you're going to have to help Morgan do some wainscoting."

"What?"

"Alex, wainscoting is…"

"Em I know what it is, I just don't understand why I am going to do it. You know there are far more qualified people who do this work for a living. Shouldn't we support the economy?" he whined.

"It was Morgan's idea. He feels it's his godfatherly duty."

"If it was his idea why do I have to help? Can't he ask Reid?"

"Reid! He'll ruin our entire new house" Emily laughed. Sometimes Alex had some really dumb ideas.

"Fuck me" Alex groaned. "I'm not handy."

"I know baby but what's the worst that can happen?"

"I go to jail for killing Morgan." Alex smirked, "and then whose going to help you raise the baby?"

Emily waved him off, "I'll find someone. If Morgan's dead I'll just go to Hotch I guess, he's pretty cute."

"Hotch isn't cute" Alex scowled as he crossed his arms.

Emily laughed at his unwarranted jealously. "So when are you going to tell me your baby name idea?"

"After we find out the sex."

"Just tell me now" Emily groaned.

"No, I know you Emily. You will somehow find a way to make fun of it and ruin it. I can feel it in my bones" he lectured.

"We need to pick a couple of names so we can narrow it down over the next few months. I was thinking we could call the baby the names and see how we like the sound of saying it over and over again."

"Won't the baby get confused?"

Emily started laughing, "Are you honestly worried that our baby is going to have an identity crisis at birth?"

"Shut up" Alex chuckled. When he said it out loud he agreed that it was a pretty ridiculous concern. "Okay so let's start with boys names what do you have?"

"Aaron, David, Derek, Morgan, Spencer, and Reid are obviously all out of the picture."

"Obviously."

"What about Harrison?"

"Eh too many last names. We're doing your last name as the middle name so doesn't Harrison Prentiss Vanderbilt sound a bit like a law firm. An evil law firm that defends companies for polluting the oceans."

Emily groaned "fine. What do you have?"

"Benjamin."

"Cyrus" Emily countered.

"I kinda like Cyrus" Alex commented dumbly.

"No you goof that's a unsub that ran this religious cult and beat the shit out of me. Both names are out."

"Oh sorry, umm, Christopher?"

"His right hand man."

"Unsubs are the worst, they're ruining all of our baby names" Alex grinned.

"Yeah and you know killing innocent people" Emily added sarcastically. "What boys names do you like?"

"Alistair?"

"Cute. What about Patrick?" Alex shuddered at the idea and not for the reason that Emily assumed. "Okay Patrick is out, Christian?"

"I like that" Alex smiled.

"Alistair Christian?"

"It's a start."

"Okay girls names…" Emily trailed off.

"I have that covered sassafras" Alex said confidently.

"Just tell me" Emily groaned.

"So you can ruin another baby name? I don't think so, we both know that you've already ruined a plethora of baby names."

"I did not. But now that I'm thinking about it, is Alistair too close to Allison? Will he be teased for having a girl's name? And Christian, is that putting religious pressure on him? What if he wants to be a Buddhist?"

"Fuck me" Alex sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. "Em you're doing it again! Religious pressure? You know what, let's go through all the names you ruined so far. Archer."

"Archer is an occupation not a name" Emily responded adamantly.

"Holden."

"Holden balls, do you want our child to be teased mercilessly in elementary school?"

"Knox."

"What kind of name is Knox Vanderbilt? Get your head out of your ass Vanderbilt" Emily smiled.

"Sebastian" Alex went on.

"Sebastian the crab."

"Maximilian."

"Maximilian Vanderbilt sounds like an evil oil tycoon."

"But I loved that name" Alex pouted.

"I'm sorry baby" Emily said trying to placate her husband.

"And you ruined Avery because you said it sounded too bird-like." Emily laughed at the memory as Alex continued his rant. "Do you see how crazy you are? I'm surprised there are any baby names left with the likes of you. So no, you have lost the privilege of getting to know my baby name and it's good" he teased.

"Fine" she huffed. If she was honest she couldn't blame him for holding out on her. "I like Samuel."

"Samuel Dieteman, Phoenix serial shooter" he smiled.

"I hate you" Emily joked after realizing that Alex ruined her baby name like she had done to him so many times before.

* * *

Emily walked into JJ's office to find JJ and Garcia chatting away. "Sorry to interrupt but someone gave me one of your files by accident" Emily said smiling at JJ as she handed over the file.

"No Em come in. We were just talking about you."

"Yeah gumdrop when are we going baby shopping for mini gumdrop?"

Emily mumbled, "I was going to go alone actually."

"WHAT?!" JJ and Garcia yelled simultaneously.

"You don't even know what to buy" JJ argued, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I'm a 40-year-old woman, I think I can figure out what a baby needs" she scoffed.

"You and Alex are such a mess. You haven't even decided on a house or picked a pediatrician."

"Jayje, I haven't even had the baby yet what do I need a pediatrician for?"

"Waiting lists" JJ remarked throwing up her hands in disbelief.

"JJ they're fancy they don't do waiting lists like the rest of us peasants. The Prentiss-Vanderbilts, the royals of D.C." Garcia said pointedly to JJ who nodded in agreement, much to the annoyance of Emily. "And you still haven't picked a godmother yet" Garcia hinted.

"Yeah you haven't" JJ also hinted leaning forward in her chair. "Em you need to get it together. Tomorrow night we are going shopping and bring Vandy's credit card."

"I'm SO excited!" Garcia squealed.

Emily panicked as her mind started to race, _having JJ there is going to be bad enough but having to shop for baby things with Penelope Garcia. _Emily shuttered at the idea_. Sure JJ will make me buy a lot of stuff, but at least I will definitely need all of it. But Garcia? She will make me buy the entire store. And then Alex and I are going to have to pack it and move it into our new house and…wait a second. Alex and a new house. I shouldn't…but he did get me pregnant. He's not the one going crazy with hormones or dealing with morning sickness or having back pain. And he gets to still drink coffee and I know he had sushi for lunch the other day, that bastard. He just gets to enjoy me being horny all the time and then he gets a __baby when all this is over. _And that's when Emily found her words, "Actually Pen, Alex was hoping you and Kevin could help him pick out our new house. You see we have it narrowed down to 3 and he can't pick. Would you help him?"

Garcia's face lit up at the suggestion, "Oh definitely my little pregnant dumpling! I shall help in your conquest for a home." Garcia then turned to JJ, "I don't know what could be a more godmotherly duty" she taunted. "And then we can go on a double date."

"Yay" Emily replied unenthused as her plan backfired.

"I must go tell my, sorry your, dark prince! I'll call a house inspector and send them over, we're going to have you in escrow by tomorrow. Don't you worry godmummy is on the job" she exclaimed in a terrible fake British accent as she ran out the door.

"You did not think that through" JJ laughed as she looked at a horrified Emily.

"What have I done?" Emily groaned as she plopped down in JJ's chair.

"Let's start a baby list" JJ instructed as she took out a legal pad and a pen. "Not to put any extra pressure on you but Garcia already has a godchild and I don't."

"JJ" Emily warned.

"Just throwing that out there" JJ smiled.

* * *

"Emily what the fuck did you do?!" Alex yelled as he stomped into the his and Emily's apartment, almost stepping on Sergio.

"Apologize to Serg" Emily commanded.

Alex looked down at the cat, "Sorry Sergio. Emily why would you tell Garcia that I wanted her and Kevin to go house hunting with me?"

Emily laughed when she saw how upset Alex was at the idea. He has never met Kevin Lynch but since Alex didn't like Will she wagered that he wouldn't much care for Kevin either. "Because I don't know, I didn't feel like arguing with her. I'm so exhausted from this baby and I don't have the energy to deal with her enthusiasm. You owe me anyway. If I recall you were supposed to tell Garcia that we were engaged, you drunkenly told her we would go on a double date with her and Kevin and Morgan, and you told everyone about our sex life once while high on a plane. I think we are even. Oh and on top of all that I am carrying your baby, so you cannot be mad at me by default."

"You sure like playing that baby card Prentiss" Alex laughed.

"You didn't seem to mind last night or this morning" she remarked as she walked closer to Alex and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Alex you look so hot when you angry."

"Well, to be fair you thought I looked 'so hot' when I was spreading peanut butter on toast for you this morning" he laughed as they made their way into their bedroom.

"Okay so you're going to just show Garcia and Kevin the houses after work before dinner and I'll meet you" Emily said before letting out a moan after Alex started sucking on her pulse point.

"Quit talking about Garcia" Alex ordered into Emily's neck as he started taking off her clothing while kissing down her to her throat. Alex moved her to the bed where he stripped off her pants. Emily unclasped her bra and pulled Alex into a deep kiss as his hand started to drift down her body, her muscles twitching below his touch.

"Still mad?" Emily asked as Alex went back to sucking the soft skin on her collarbone and kissing down to the top of her breasts. "Alex" she moaned as his hand started moving her underwear down her body. Emily moved to unbuckle his belt and unzipped his pants, "Still mad?"

"No" he mumbled into her chest as she started laughing.

* * *

The next day Emily was working at her desk, casually running her fingers over her baby bump that seemed to appear overnight.

"Hey Munchkin, where is my favorite brooding blue blood?" Garcia asked until she squealed when she noticed Emily's small baby bump. "When did the bump come in?"

Emily bit her bottom lip thinking, "Alex noticed it the other day. It feels strange to have all of a sudden."

"Well it looks adorable. So where is the baby daddy?"

"Alex took an early lunch to meet up with a friend."

Garcia looked at the brunette confused, "Alex doesn't have friends beside us. Does he?"

"Jealous Garcia" Emily grinned.

"No. I know they don't have the connection we do with him" she laughed. "But really who is he with?"

"A friend from his CIA days named Quinn. I guess Alex kind of mentored him in infiltration or something."

"You two are such a badass couple, I love it. Your baby will be this gorgeous crime fighter, my newest little minion…" she drifted off.

Emily rolled her eyes, "Your minion?"

"Well I am the fairy godmother aren't I?"

"Garcia you already have a godchild."

"I need your baby too for my collection to be complete. And I want a girl this time."

Emily chuckled, "I'll work on that. We actually find out the sex in two days."

"OH MY GOD! I'm so excited!"

"Pen, you do realize that you cannot have my baby right?" Emily asked with a smile.

"Details, details princess raven locks. Any names so far?"

"Actually Alex and I have a name picked out for either sex" Emily raised her hand before Garcia had a chance to speak up, "and before you ask we aren't telling anyone until after the baby is born so don't even bother."

"Maybe I'll just ask Alex then."

"Go ahead and try" Emily laughed again at her friend's antics before she got up from her chair. "I'm taking my lunch break now."

"By the way my little baby baker…"

Emily interrupted, "Baby baker?"

"I'm working on some new names to suit your pregnancy, anyway Alex's birthday is coming up and what are we going to do?"

"Alex isn't big on birthdays, it's a sore subject" she said casually as she started walking towards the elevators.

"What isn't a sore subject with our dark prince Emster?"

"Just don't bring up anything childhood or family related and everything is fine" she laughed as she closed the elevator door on her friend's shocked face.

After picking up her dry cleaning and running to the pharmacy to get her prenatal vitamins Emily received a phone call. "Prentiss. I don't know if that such a good idea. I can give you 15 minutes after work, no more. No, your home is fine. Have a good afternoon" Emily said coldly as she hung up the phone. Emily took a deep breath after thinking about the new errand she had to run before JJ went to get her after work to go shopping.

* * *

Alex opened the front door into the hallway to find Kevin and Garcia waiting for him. Emily had gone out about a half hour earlier to run an errand, but he was somewhat surprised when she didn't specify what it was about. He had wondered if it somehow involved his upcoming birthday. Alex was dressed casually in a pair of jeans with a dark blue button up shirt and a black blazer. He had hoped that it wasn't too casual for dinner after house hunting, but his worries were put to rest when he saw Kevin and Garcia dressed in equally quirky, and somewhat horrible, outfits. He chuckled softly at the couple as Garcia spoke up.

"Hello my dark prince this is my boyfriend Kevin Lynch" Garcia smiled as she introduced Kevin who stuck his hand out.

"Kevin it's nice to meet you, I'm…"

"Oh, I have heard all about you from plum sauce here" Kevin smiled.

_Plum sauce? _Alex shook his head and he led them into the kitchen area. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No we're fine" Garcia answered for both of them.

Alex smiled as he picked up a few papers off the counter. "Well here are the flyers for the houses I have been looking at, thank you for helping me by the way."

"Oh I already know about these places, gumdrop gave me the list earlier. Very nice and, ahem, expensive taste. By the way don't freak out when you see a house inspector bill on your credit card. I sent them over and all the places are a-okay."

"Thank you?" Alex said as he slightly tilted his head to the left. He didn't know whether to be upset or grateful for the intrusion.

"Penelope boundaries" Kevin gently scolded as Alex started to laugh.

"It's fine. So which place do you like the most?"

"To be honest I think you already have a preference and you just want to make sure that everyone else likes the house too."

Alex nodded, "I really liked the one with the garage, but it only has four bedrooms."

"How many children are you planning on having?" Garcia joked before she continued on in her real estate lecture. "The larger townhouse house on P street has a garage, it is perfectly styled so you don't have to remodel it, it has a patio and a rooftop deck, it has an area you could turn into a playroom, and, yes, it has four bedrooms so Kevin and I can move in to help care for our baby."

"Our baby?" Kevin questioned but Garcia's choice of words didn't faze Alex. He was quite aware that Garcia was very attached to Emily, offspring & co.

"I really do like it" Alex remarked as he gazed at the picture.

"And your real estate agent and attorney are already waiting there for you to sign the paperwork" she mumbled.

"What?"

"Penelope!"

"Sorry but I had a feeling" she defended.

Alex chuckled, "Okay I guess we could look at it once more and sign the papers before dinner. But shouldn't we call Emily and ask her if…" he drifted of before Garcia cut him off.

"No, she is sick of house hunting and moving talk. She wants a house picked out by today or she will kill us all and we both know that Emily can kick your ass pregnant or not. Plus, this is going to put me in the lead as godmother and you are not ruining this for me Edward Vanderbilt!" she commanded sternly.

Alex looked over to a fearful Kevin who offered a small smile. "Okay" Alex quietly croaked as he went to his bedroom to grab a few financial documents and headed out the door with the technological couple. He had to admit he really liked Kevin, and that Garcia was scary. How where they going to break it to her that they had already decided on JJ as the godmother?

A few minutes later the trio pulled up to a three-story Georgetown red brick row house with black shutters and white trim. The red bricks were very lightly whitewashed, which gave the home a certain charm. The group walked off the quiet street and up the steps to a stately black door.

"It's even more perfect in person" Garcia whispered to Alex and Kevin.

"Kevin?" Alex asked.

"I'm liking this idea of me and plum sauce living with you even more now" he joked.

* * *

Earlier that evening Emily followed a thirty something year old woman, clad all in black, into a large study and sat across from a familiar face on the other side of his desk. "Secretary" she said coldly as he watched her sit down.

"Good evening Emily, it's good to see you" he greeted in the same monotone he always used.

"I'm sure it is" she replied sarcastically.

"Thank you again for taking my call. I want to apologize for what occurred the other night, certain matters should have been addressed differently on my part."

"You think?" She replied in a harsh tone. Emily was in no mood for Ted Vanderbilt's games.

"I understand that you may not fully comprehend my actions. However, I do want you to understand that they were motivated by concern. Concern for my son, and for you as well."

"For me?" Emily asked sternly.

The Secretary rose from his chair and walked over to gaze out the window at the back gardens of his estate. The sun was just beginning to fall in the sky. "Yes for you. You see we all have secrets Emily, even Edward."

"We don't keep secrets from each other. And I know all about Damascus and Islamabad if that's what you're implying, Secretary."

"I'm sure you do, because we both know that Edward is nothing if not transparent" The Secretary coldly answered as he went back to his desk and opened the top drawer. "But even if you do know Edward Vanderbilt III, how well do you know Vladmir Perminov or Patrick Cole, or my personal favorite, Robert Forrester? He took out a manilla file folder with "Confidential" in red stamped on the front and placed it front of Emily. "'La plus belle des ruses du diable est de vous persuader qu'il n'existe pas.'"

The Secretary's perfect French resonated with Emily as she looked down to the file folder and couldn't help but feel compelled to open it. The Secretary watched her intently as she did so. "I have a meeting. Inform Marianne before you leave" He command before exiting the door leaving Emily alone as she stared into the true blue eyes of Robert Forrester. The same distinct eyes that belonged to Alex.

**To be continued….**

**You didn't really think that Alex would reveal everything to Emily about his past in one sitting, o****r that The Secretary would take Alex's dinner outburst lightly did you?**

**The quote that Secretary Vanderbilt uses is a famed one by French poet Charles Baudelaire which translates to, "The devil's finest trick is to persuade you that he does not exist." The quotation, of course, alludes to Alex's still mysterious past.**

**To all those who worry, yes Alex is still a good guy but he didn't reveal all of his secrets to Emily and The Secretary knew it.**

**The Finest Trick- Part 2 will contain a case that brings more of Alex's past to light as Emily struggles with his deception after reading his classified CIA personnel file. Spencer Reid will also play a vital role in the story. But now you know why Alex didn't want to consider Patrick as a possible baby name. Part 2 is where the fluff ends and the real drama/crime begins. **

**Part 2 is now up. **


	8. The Finest Trick Part 2 Preview

**Here's a quick preview for Part 2, which is now in progress.**

The office was dark somehow, even though it was still the middle of the day. Outside the office doors the FBI hallways were bustling with the usual movement, the usual agents moving through and through, trying to fulfill their assignments. Through those ordinary double glass doors the BAU team was working on paperwork and trying to forget then latest horrors they had just witnessed, trying to stop themselves from doubting if they could have handled the case differently. If they should have handled it differently. As their thoughts drifted to him, a firm voice spoke up in the otherwise silent dark office. "Agent Vanderbilt I will ask you again, on the record. What happened in Schenectady?"

* * *

4 DAYS EARLIER

Emily continued to stare down at the file in front of her, the words all blurring together. She heard a familiar buzzing and looked down to find her cellphone ringing, again. It appeared that she had missed 2 phone calls and 3 text messages. Some were from Alex, most were from JJ. She sighed when she realized she hadn't even heard the phone ring and still hadn't risen from the light blue chair in Secretary Vanderbilt's study. Emily took in a deep breath and calmly answered the incoming call, "Prentiss."

"Emily" JJ breathed a sigh of relief. "Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry I didn't hear my phone go off. What's up?"

"New case, it came directly to Hotch. Where are you? I called Alex and he said you weren't with him."

"Pharmacy, I needed to get my prenatal vitamins" she lied.

"Oh okay, meet everyone at the BAU. Emily if there's anything bothering you, anything, you can tell me. You know that" JJ reassured.

"I do, thank you" Emily said politely.

"So are you okay?"

"Perfect" Emily wanted to vomit at the lie. She couldn't tell JJ, but she couldn't help but feel betrayed. Sure Alex never outright lied to her, but he had deliberately hid the truth from her. For almost a year he let her believe that she knew everything about him, when it was painfully obvious she didn't. How well did she really know the man she was married to? Did she ever really know him at all? She shuddered when she thought back to her father-in-law's taunting words.

"Okay then I'll see you soon" JJ happily replied.

"Okay" Emily replied softly as she hung up the phone and walked out of the large home to her car, leaving the file on The Secretary's desk.


End file.
